Little Epiphanies

Exercise might be a good thing, if the grammar don't getcha

2009-02-19T17:22:00.003-05:00

I have just completed a 20-minute exercise routine - my first since October. This is a measure of how deep my depression has been, but also a sign that I am pulling myself out of it at last. I've never gone this long without any exercise before, and it has felt truly awful to be so out of shape, but until today I just have not been able to make myself do it.

Suddenly this afternoon, I was ready.

The black lining to my silver cloud appeared at the end of the video when the woman said, "You have just did the whole routine, now doesn't that feel good?!" Oh, the pain!

~Cheers

Silliness

2009-01-30T11:41:00.002-05:00

Okay, THIS is how sentimental I am - it's pretty bad.

I have a miniature pack of cards that I received - perhaps from Santa? - when I was 7 years old. I took it along when we went on the ship to the Netherlands the first time. I was playing with N with it the other night and she asked why there was a very old, ratty American flag sticker stuck inside the box that I always insist on keeping in the box with the cards. It's ancient and a bit torn and she finds it annoying that I won't let anyone throw it away or at least keep it somewhere else.

Because: Granddad gave me a set of those stickers to take with me on the ship (and put one in my autograph book when he wrote in it) and I stuck some in the box of cards, for some reason. So that one has always been in the box, traveled to Holland with me and back twice, and it belongs there. Now N understands completely and thinks it's cool.

Now that I've explained it, I think it's a little cracked. I mean, it's just an old sticker, and they still make them just like that one. But somehow I can't bring myself to get rid of it. ;-)

I need to start making time every day to edit my novel! I was going to start last week and I had too much going on. It's a lot easier with an external deadline like nanowrimo. I'd better head over to nanoedmo and see when that starts and if they've got any hints for me.

Today I'm going to N's school to do a little presentation on Chinese New Year, assuming they don't end school early because of yet more snow . . .

~Cheers

Now it really feels like the year is starting up

2009-01-17T14:30:00.002-05:00

Right after New Year's, Z & C left for college, N went back to school and R started back to work. I, however, was left in limbo, since our classes don't start up again till the 20th. I'd sort of been looking forward to the peace and quiet, and it was nice to have quiet mornings in which to prepare for the upcoming semester. I had several enjoyable and productive coffee-shop meetings with my Learning Community colleague, read some books, and avoided cleaning the house (for the most part). Doodled around on the computer. Had some loooong naps.

In short, I took a vacation.

I'm a little disappointed that I did not visit the gym or do any of the housekeeping tasks I'd planned. Then again, I ended up with a fair (unfair) number of migraines. :-(

Friday I spent all day in meetings and workshops on campus, and they were productive and morale-boosting. I am now almost ready for school to start on Tuesday, and looking forward to it. The Learning Community is really going to be fun; I hope I have good students this semester.

Of all the books I've read over break, the one I enjoyed was Mistress of the Art of Death by Ariana Franklin. It's the first in a series (hurray!) about a twelfth-century Jewish physician/detective from Salerno who travels to Great Britain to solve a case for which all the Jews of Canterbury have been blamed. Franklin has written it very well, and I found it such a good book that I ordered a second copy from paperbackswap so that I have TWO to send to people (one is for a cousin who is facing surgery soon, the other can circulate). Then I put myself on pbs's waiting list for the next two in the series!

I'm not handling the winter too well right now. It has been bitter cold the last four days (single digit temps with wind-chill bringing it well below zero), and what I assume is arthritis is making my knees sore and keeping my hands from performing properly. Yesterday at the workshop, which was (of course) entirely indoors, I had to ask a friend to open my bottled water for me, as my fingers just were not strong enough. Made me feel pretty decrepit, I can tell you.

I'm also having trouble with the lack of sunlight and amount of greyness. I notice that I very easily become weepy and depressed on cold, grey days, and am looking for strategies to manage - another reason I'm looking forward to the start of the semester, when I have more interaction with people outside the house.

Okay, I still need to make a passel o' phone calls (to tell students our classroom's been moved all the way across campus - I don't want them trekking across campus in this weather) and then write a long, informative welcome email to my online class, many of whom are beginning to log in already.

ARGH! N has her friend from across the street (one of the "Herdmans") over. Driving me crazy.

Must - be - charitable - must - not - snap -

~Cheers

Post-Christmas Blues

2008-12-28T13:53:00.004-05:00

It's too bad that N does not have school tomorrow (Monday). She's got the post-Christmas blues, when none of the presents she got for Christmas is quite the thing she wants to play with, and she doesn't really want to play outside, but she doesn't really want to play inside either, and nothing anyone suggests sounds like any fun.

R's got a similar problem, which is that he's spent the past five weeks agonizing about it being the holiday season (a time of great angst and depression for him), and now that it's over he's left with nothing to agonize about so he doesn't know what to do with himself. But he's going back to work tomorrow for one day, which will be just about right for him, I think. Enough to get his jitters out and then come home again for some more vacation. ;-)

As for me - well, we had two days' worth of very pleasant visits from friends & relations, and now today I am enjoying just not doing much of anything. Which Z & C enjoy as well. But "not doing much of anything" is absolute torture for R & N. Which is why they're feeling antsy.

I am currently sitting in my favorite chair, wearing my new slippers, listening to my new iPod nano, and inhaling the fumes from my new Himalayan salt candle-holder. All of which would be just a little more peaceful if R were not irritated with me for not wanting to go walking in the rain with him, and if N were not ringing the doorbell (the door is unlocked, so this is entirely unnecessary) to complain to me that it is raining.

I am ignoring them both.

The question of when to take down the Christmas tree is what I am currently pondering. I think I'd like to take it down some time in the next couple of days - before C & Z go back to school. If I wait till they leave, it will be sad when I do it, plus I won't have their help.

So it would seem to be a no-brainer, wouldn't it?

~Cheers

Chappy Chanukkah!

2008-12-21T20:58:00.003-05:00

So it's the first night of Hanukkah, also Yule and Solstice and, coincidentally, four days till Christmas. And around my house we're pretty laid-back about it all. Which is nice.

I spent a good chunk of today getting the holiday cards written and addressed, except for a few for which I still need addresses. I scrounged up enough stamps and return-address labels so that they can even be mailed tomorrow - I think this is the first time in many years that they've gone out this early (i.e. before the end of the year). Z made a few cards for special friends, from scratch, and they are lovely. C loaded a mess o' CDs onto my computer for me so that I am now listening to Kitaro as I type, yay! N played outside with friends all day, and is now sleeping the sleep of the just. And R worked on various tasks that had been calling his name. The four of us (minus N, except when she and her friends came in for refueling every so often) kept each other company cozily most of the day, and it was truly gezellig.

I've been doing a lot of soul-searching the last few days, and have discovered that there are two things greatly lacking in my life. One is people: I never - really, never! - see my friends any more. It's been six months since I last saw my two close friends here, because of busy schedules and difficult lives. And the other people I know around here are more acquaintances and colleagues than friends. I need to change that. Not sure how to go about it, yet, but this absolutely needs to change. I have good, special, dear friends in far-flung places, but I need more people about me here, where I can see and touch them. I've always been a very people-oriented person, and yet somehow I have ended up a virtual recluse.

The other thing lacking is a soundtrack. I used to play music all the time, but our stereo system is old and fading, and I need something I can take with me on the run. This is why I've asked for an iPod for Christmas/Hanukkah. It's not just a fun little techno-toy - it's something I can carry about from room to room, can go to sleep to, can listen to when out walking. (I won't wear it while driving, though, I promise.) All three of our kids have mp3 players and love them, and they were enthusiastic about my suggestion that it would enhance my life. And the kids are going in on an iPod for R for Christmas, too, and loading it with a sleeptime playlist and a brisk-walk playlist for him. They're very excited about it.

So: people and music. That's what I need more of, and that's what I hope to add more of to my life in the coming year. I know, it's too early to blog about the new year. As far as Christmas is concerned, we've already done one of the traditional holiday rituals. Yesterday we watched both of the "Batman Animated" and the "Justice League Unlimited" Christmas episodes to get us in the mood. The scene in which Superman tries to use his x-ray vision to peek at his presents, only to find that his parents have wrapped them in lead-lined paper, inspired N and C to go to our tree and start shaking the presents underneath to guess what might be in them.

"Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg . . . ."

~Cheers!

SEWING

2008-12-17T11:16:00.003-05:00

I seem to have put off my Christmas sewing projects till the very, very, very squeaky-last minute. Worse than usual, but I needed to get all the grades in for my courses first (at least, this is what I told myself).

I've now finished 8/11 of the top of a quilt for my niece, and expect to complete the top in another couple of hours. Then I'll head out to Joann Fabrics to get the batting, more black thread and some black yarn for the ties (she's heavily into the Goth scene, so there is a lot of black in this quilt). Home to do the quilting.

Once hers is done, I will get back to the first quilt I started, which was for a wedding present in September (oops). It, too, has a lot of black in it, so I'll be buying PLENTY of black thread when I go out. ;-) I don't need to finish it by Christmas, but I do want to finish it during this vacation break.

And then there's a pillow I want to put together for Z, using two of her old favorite t-shirts that are too raggedy for her to wear any more. She adores them and noticed they were missing (I took them for this project before they could disintegrate any further), and will enjoy having the pillow as a "comfort object" at school.

N was happy this morning: the school district called a two-hour delay, due to icy roads. She enjoyed the extra time with Z, who hadn't really planned on getting up quite that early but was willing to play with her new XBox 360 anyway. She bought it for herself two days ago - the first thing she's ever bought herself that cost more than $20. She is enormously proud of it.

~Cheers!

Are You Ready For The Holidays?

2008-12-11T21:50:00.003-05:00

I threatened on Facebook today that I would slap the next person to ask me that question, and I meant it. It implies that there's some kind of competition to get everything bought and wrapped and mailed and decorated - to get all that nonsense out of the way as quickly as possible because it's such a pain in the neck.

Personally, I love the baking, the choosing of presents, the wrapping and, to a far lesser extent, the decorating. (Okay, I detest the mailing and am always happy when that's out of the way.) I find the process, not the end product, to be the Whole Point. For me, "getting ready" means cleaning the house enough to make space to set up the sewing machine, and scrubbing the kitchen in preparation for baking enough poppyseed cake to take to all the neighbors.

Now I've turned in my grades and started the cleaning. Tomorrow I take out the sewing machine.

I am psyched.

~Cheers!

C Day!

2008-11-21T10:20:00.004-05:00

My boy is coming home today! Peenoomonia and all. I hope he's not too miserable, but if he still is, best to be miserable at home where I can make him chicken soup and feed him his favorite types of ice cream.

[insert funny N story here]

So R took N to the grocery over the weekend, and one of the items on the list was ice cream, in anticipation of C's return. R asked N what flavor of ice cream C likes best, and N's reply was "ranch."

R, somewhat taken aback, described the basic ingredients of ranch to N, who recanted and described to R the basic ingredients she had had in mind. Which turned out to be rocky road.

Good thing we got that straightened out in time.

[back to original topic now]

C is due in at 4:40. So I am cleaning as best I can, seeing as the house is a total wreck and the vacuum cleaner begins to smell awful after five minutes' of sucking. I'm still working on the upper floor, but hope to get something done downstairs before N comes home (early dismissal today). Then N & I have some erranding to do on the way to the airport.

In amongst the cleaning, I am checking email fairly frequently, as a schism has developed in one of the ten project groups in my learning community, and I am trying to be available to monitor it in case it becomes really dire. The projects are due in by midnight tonight (on the internet). Most of the groups have worked out very well, so I suppose 10% failure rate for the first time we've tried this project isn't too bad.

I am finding that I really miss NaNo - I need to get started on another writing project soon. The updates from NaNo.org keep coming to my email box and I feel really left out and sad that I finished so soon, even though I really needed to. :-(

Then again, there are always the day to day challenges, such as this morning's when I had to figure out what that horrible, disgusting smell was that seemed to emanate from somewhere about N's person. She insisted it wasn't her, it was her backpack, and when I opened it and took a whiff - sure enough, it was! I went rooting around inside and came up with a baggie with part of an egg yolk, from Monday's snack. BLECH.

~Cheers

NaNoWriMo Day 18: 50,292

2008-11-18T14:09:00.003-05:00

OMG. It's done. And I feel like I cheated, because I just left Jimmy as a two year old. But I didn't know what else to do, when I discovered that there were three Jimmies (Jimmys? Jimmae?), not one, and I'd had them all mixed up all this time! And The Jimmy, the one I was writing about, was the only one I didn't know anything concrete about! So it ended up really being about Selah, George and Marshall, and family, and all sentimental mush that sounded ghastly.

And then I was still about a hundred words short, so I typed THE END and added a little postscript about how I came by the letters and journals, and what I did with them, and then thanked all the little people who got me to where I am now etc. etc. ad nauseum, as Bloody E had suggested yesterday. But that tipped me over the top and got it done.

When I tried to follow the directions for scrambling it to upload it to the NaNoWriMo verifier, it just turned everything into "aa aaaaaa a'aa" and so on, and that didn't look right. So I uploaded it normally, figuring nobody would want to steal such a piece of junky writing - same principle as not bothering to lock a rusty old jeep when you park it on the street, I guess. And I assume it verified my word count, but it doesn't say anywhere on the site that I am done, a winner, or anything like that. So I don't know if there is something more I need to do by the 30th of November or not. I've written to Aldy to ask her, and I'm sure she will know.

I have been extremely, deeply unhappy ever since my 50th birthday last April. Being in my 40s was fine, but turning 50 was just not okay. I knew before it happened that it wouldn't be okay, but I tried to prepare myself for it. Didn't help. I didn't want, and I don't want, to be that old. I didn't know why, though till last night: I had promised myself when I was in my 30s that by the time I was 40 I would 1) publish a book and 2) buy myself a banjo and learn to play it.

I didn't do either one. Of course, I did a lot of other things, and I don't regret them. But almost all of them were for other people, and I feel like a failure for not doing either of the two things I wanted to do for myself. I missed the boat and there is no way to go back and do them by that self-imposed deadline.

Don't get me wrong: I am depressed about being 50 and not having learned to play the banjo. But I WAS depressed about being 50 and having wasted a lot of time that I couldn't get back. And when Sept. came and my two big kids both left for college, and suddenly our family of five turned into a family of three, I was very, very depressed. I spent a lot of time sleeping, and just sitting quietly being sad.

So when NaNo came along, and I got really excited, it pulled me out of my depression. Instead of having three-day migraines every one or two weeks, I've had ONE one-day migraine in the past month. I've been wide awake and even had insomnia because I couldn't turn my brain off. I needed a challenge - not a frustration, but a challenge.

And now I've written a novel. And I plan to edit it. And then write another one (I already know what it will be about).

I still hate that I'm 50, and I still am sorry I haven't published anything. And I expect I'll still have days when I battle depression about that, or about my big kids being gone. But this is why NaNo was so important to me and why I felt driven to finish that damn book. And to do at least a halfway decent job on it.

Thanks for being along on the ride.

~Cheers

NaNoWriMo Day 17: 47,007

2008-11-17T15:42:00.004-05:00

I need about another thousand or so on Marshall and then I will start on Jimmie. I hope to finish by Wednesday - Thursday at the latest. Woot!

I met again today with two of my writing buddies, Bloody E Read and LadySoul, two LCCC students who've done NaNo before. I wish there were a way to get someone to interview them about doing NaNo - I'm so impressed with them for doing this twice in a row (I think maybe LadySoul's done it more than twice), and they are such neat people! The school ought to publicize this, because it's a big achievement and something really to be proud of. LadySoul has already gotten to 53,000+ but has set her goal at 75,000 this year! Bloody E is only at 15,000 but she did the same thing last year and wrote 25,000 in the last week, so she isn't worried about it.

It really is fun writing with other people, and it's amazing how quickly you get to feeling a bond with them for doing something crazy like this. Of course, I feel that way about everyone/anyone who is doing NaNo - there are so many of us around the world, too! - but even more so about my mother and nephew, and about the two Heathers (LadySoul and Bloody E) because of writing with them.

I also have a mentor through NaNo, Aldy, who has been very encouraging. It helps to have someone who really knows NaNo from having done it and finished. She offered to mentor total strangers, and replied when I emailed her asking for mentoring. Which is amazing and wonderful - see what NaNo brings about!

No more time for writing today, as N will be home soon and I have to teach tonight. But tomorrow will be a big day. I have no commitments tomorrow except to write, write, write!

~Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel . . .

NaNoWriMo Day 16: 44,512

2008-11-16T18:42:00.003-05:00

Marshall is on Corregidor, and he ain't happy about it. He wanted to go to the Front, but George (at Lavilla's begging) asked Wm. Jennings Bryan to pull some strings and have him sent somewhere where he would not see any action - and boy oh boy, there was NO action on Corregidor in WWI! Hardly any soldiers, either.

Now I have to get him addicted again; meanwhile I need to get George elected to the state house of representatives. Then get the war ended, Marshall home (an addict) and send the three Waites (with an "e") off to California. I think I will end that chapter there, but I'm not sure - I need to get up to at least 48K with Marshall, as I don't think I have more than a couple of K worth for Jimmie.

So, I'm seeing the end in sight, and this makes me want to just write, write, write. Which is annoying the living daylights out of the other members of the household. They are grumpy with me today OH YES on account of NaNoWriMo. I think they feel I should just do my 2.5 K per day and leave it at that.

And the grumpier they get, the more pressure I feel to finish it in fewer days and be done, rather than to do just a couple K of words a day and take longer.

Doesn't make sense, does it. Psi. I foresee a long night tonight as I expect more insomnia. But then I will get more writing done, and that would be a good thing.

~Not the end . . . .

NaNoWriMo Day 15: 37,619

2008-11-15T13:58:00.003-05:00

I feel better now that Marshall has 1) graduated from high school with a cocaine habit and 2) gotten his job in Haskell's Barber Shop. He really DID get hooked while still in high school, I found out, and he also had a stint learning to be a barber, so I worked these in.

Today I tried two different things. One, I worked at home while R and N were in the same room with me. I had made them promise that they would not distract me, and they were pretty good about it. I also made them promise to tell me to keep writing, which N delighted in doing. ;-)

Two, I used Write Or Die. I put in "500 words" and "30 minutes" each time, wrote till I had 500 words (took about 15 mins. each time) and then stopped, copied my writing to the main text, and took a break. Did it till I had 2500 words, and then stopped. The great thing about it was I first showed it to R & N, and then when I was interrupted (exactly once each session by one or tother of them, the music went off and reminded them of what they'd done, so then they didn't interrupt again.

And I was even able to continue writing through them talking to me, which amazes me. So I truly have learned to compartmentalize. What I did was plan out each 500-word segment ahead of time - not the exact words, but the topic I was going to address (Marshall's graduating with a drug habit and how that came about, for example). If I didn't finish it, which I often didn't, then I'd continue it on in the next segment. But having the plan in mind meant I could keep working on it and just let the words come out even with someone talking to me, and even follow what was being said to me, which I never realized I was capable of. Split personality, much?

I think I may continue this after a break, since N is sitting here watching Cirque du Soleil DVDs and R is doing origami, both keeping me company. If they're not minding my writing up a storm, and the writing is flowing, then I might as well keep it up. It would be fabulous if I could get done before C got home on the 21st, so I could devote more time to him. (Also, I'm getting a bunch of papers to grade on Monday, which I should get graded by next Monday . . . I swore I would not let this interfere with work.)

Interestingly, No Plot? No Problem is right on target with its (Chris Baty's) advice about weeks. This is the beginning of Week Three, so I read the Week Three advice last night, and one of the things it suggested was to do precisely what I did today: write in 500-word spurts. I hadn't planned to do that until I saw it was raining buckets today and N and R were both feeling kind of down, and I thought gee, I really don't want to go off for two hours and leave them alone here, so maybe this is a way to stay home with them and keep them from feeling so sad. It worked on a number of different levels.

Good book. Good advice. And I am loving NaNo and I plan to do it again next year for sure!

~Cheers

NaNoWriMo Day 14

2008-11-14T13:48:00.002-05:00

I can't stand it any longer: I am spending today cleaning up and doing household things that have got to be done in order to keep from having total chaos in our lives. I think the mess is starting to adversely affect N too much.

I hope to have a little time left over to do some prep. for Marshall, but if I don't, it's okay. I think I need a day off now and then.

~Cheers

Still Day 13, but now up to 35,066

2008-11-13T17:47:00.002-05:00

and I have GOT to quit. I think I am pretty well done with George. The ending is a little rough, but I lost heart when Geo. Milligan and then Emma died.

I'm taking a poll here, folks: Please weigh in on the question, "what do you think Willliam Jennings Bryan's close friends called him?" I have him down as "good ol' Bill" in the novel, but somehow that just doesn't cut it for me. Looking at photos of him when he was younger, including one of him standing in front of the offices of The Commoner (where George worked for four years), he looks as if he had a grand sense of humor, but he just doesn't look like a Bill.

He doesn't look like a Jen, though, either. What do YOU think?

So now it's on to Marshall. Which means another trip down to my filing cabinet o' wonders to look for the few documents I have about Marshall. I'll spend some time tomorrow piecing them together and then it will be time to put myself into the right frame of mind. I may have some trouble making the transition, but I feel ahead enough now that I'm not as worried about getting there eventually.

Thanks for reading. As George would say,

~Saw my leg off

NaNoWriMo Day 13: 33,547

2008-11-13T12:55:00.002-05:00

Decisions, decisions. I've got a respectable word count now, but I don't have enough on George yet. And I'm at a good stopping place for George, but not ready to move on to Marshall. So here I am, thinking out loud about what to do next. I'd planned to work a long time today on Nano since I need to take some time off this weekend with my fambly.

So, nu?

He's just had to go home because of Selah's death (told you I'd been skipping around). I guess I should write about his time at the ISD, to bring that back in again as a theme. That's where he met Lavilla. Then they went back out to Lincoln, and he went into law. So perhaps I should leave him once he's in the legislature, since that was 1) a pretty big accomplishment for him and 2) a far cry from what he REALLY wanted to do, which was be a farmer.

I've started reading Only Generals Die in Bed to prepare myself mentally for writing about Marshall. It's pretty strong stuff.

And last night as I was having a mild bout of insomnia (thanks for staying up with me, Mom, and emailing back & forth!), I had a flash about what I want to write for next year's Nano! But first I'll have to finish and then edit this one. So yeah, I am definitely enjoying this.

~Cheers

NaNoWriMo Day 12: 29,692

2008-11-12T15:43:00.002-05:00

Why NaNoWriMo is Environmentally Unfriendly

1) I am running a dishwasher full of pots and pans instead of washing them by hand, as I usually do (because I am too busy writing this novel - or whatever it is - to wash them myself)

2) I only take showers when I absolutely have to, so I may smell bad - but I don't have time to check (I don't really remember to check - N told me last night I needed one, so I took one): Eeeyew!

3) I keep turning my computer on after I have JUST turned it off, because I keep remembering "just ONE more thing" I wanted to add . . .

4) We are now storing all of our clean clothes in the laundry room in baskets, because although we (barely) have time to do the laundry, I do not have the time (read: want to take the time away from writing this novel - or whatever it is) to actually put any of them away in drawers and closets so everything is wrinkled and hard to find

5) You should see the house (or probably, you shouldn't) - talk about an unfriendly environment!

On the other hand, I'm having a helluva good time! And it's only for another 2 weeks . . .

~Globally warmly yours

NaNoWriMo Day 11: 27,518

2008-11-11T15:07:00.003-05:00

I feel almost as if I cheated today, since I took so much material directly from George's and Selah's journals and letters. I rewrote a lot of it, but some of it I just kept in their words because they wrote so beautifully.

Which has led me to wonder, how much should I keep historically correct? I've ended up changing some things for the sake of clarity, and others I've guessed at or added because we Just Don't Know. And then I go and do something so blatant as to use their own words! So is this still my original novel, or blatant plagiarism? Family history, or historical fiction? Do I want to try to whip it into shape eventually to make into something publishable, or just keep it for the family? If truly the former, then should I put quotation marks around all their words (which will read poorly)? Would it be sufficient just to acknowledge in the foreword how much of it came directly from them?

(Because some of the letters in the mss. I wrote myself! So I can't just say that all of the letters were theirs.)

Then again, if I want it just as a family history, am I skewing the facts too much and tainting family history forever by playing fast & loose with the story?

See, right now I have to not let myself think too much about stuff like this, or I will paralyze myself and not be able to keep on writing. And I NEED to Keep On Writing. So, I am spewing forth about it here in order to get it out of my system.

But helpful comments are always welcome!

By the way, speaking of writing, I came across Dr. Wicked's "Write or Die: Putting the Prod Back in Produce" and boy am I itching to try it out! So I think that tomorrow, when I am on campus waiting for my class to start, I will test it and see what I come up with. Check it out - it's quite a clever little gadget!

~Cheering lustily onwards

NaNoWriMo Day 10: 25272

2008-11-10T15:28:00.002-05:00

Writing with a Group

I spent a couple of hours today writing with two LCCC students who are doing NaNoWriMo, and that was fun. Both have completed NaNo before, so I felt real awe and inspiration working with them. We traded tips for working, and one of them showed me some free software she uses for writing (I will have to get the name of it from her again, as I've already forgotten it - I need to write things down!!!!!). When I got home, I wrote some more, and now I feel I'm over the worst of the hump and have a better handle on George.

It really helped a lot to meet with other NaNos, at the beginning of this week in particular, and get back some of the excitement and inspiration I had in the beginning of the project. We're meeting again next Monday and I'm already looking forward to it!

So: definitely, group writing is a good idea!

And now I'm at the halfway mark, though now my next goal is to be at the 2/3rds mark because then I will be ready for the next hurdle: Marshall. I'm glad I decided to do this novel this way, because each of the sections is so different in so many ways.

One of the students said there's a fourth LCCC person doing NaNo who couldn't make it to today's writing session, and she is doing her novel as a series of rants. She said it's pretty funny to read. I'll bet!

~Cheerful again!

NaNoWriMo Day 9: 22648

2008-11-09T15:06:00.003-05:00

The NaNoWriMo team were right: Week 2 sucks. I'd thought optimistically that it would be easier for me, since I would be switching to a different chapter and a different person (George). I had it all planned out - one chapter for Selah, one for George, one for Marshall, and end with a little coda for Jimmie.

But it's not working out that way. Selah won't leave me alone, and I can't switch over to George properly. I had expected Selah to play a small role in George's, but he's still the lead character! And I have too much material on George and his siblings for me to decide what to use! It's overwhelming me. I am feeling very frustrated and unhappy about it all. Sure, my word count looks impressive, but it feels as if I'm going nowhere fast.

I hate week 2, and it's only just begun. Plus I have a whole lot of things going on this week, unlike last week when I had a day off from school, and nothing planned on a couple of other days. Now I have a busy week ahead and very little direction in my writing.

Bleh.

Plus the house is a WRECK!!!

~Grump

NaNoWriMo Day 8: migraine

2008-11-09T14:19:00.001-05:00

Bleh. Took the day off to be miserable and have a day off from writing.

NaNoWriMo Day 7: 20,145

2008-11-07T13:54:00.002-05:00

On Leaving Things Out

Yep, I've gotten this far by leaving a lot of things out. I found that there was a lot more to tell about Selah than I'd thought! The first thing I left out was the method by which he was taught to read lips & speak a bit (articulation/oralism), and I left that out because I have to do more research to learn about it.

Then I got to the part where he was taken around the state of NY by Mr. Peet, and I just didn't feel like writing it all up, and didn't need the word count. So I put in a paragraph about it & didn't write it up.

Then I got to a couple of other places like that where I wasn't sure what to do with them - I thought they ought to be there but I didn't know how to handle them, so I just plain left them out altogether. I mean, it's obvious where they'd go, but I left out two entire years in different spots because I'm not sure they're even necessary.

And if I had tried to put all that in, I think I'd have quit before getting this far.

Now it's time to put away all the Selah stuff and get out all the George stuff and see what there is (TONS of things) and what I want to use and how I want to organize it.

~Cheers

NaNoWriMo Day 6: 16468 words . . .

2008-11-06T13:06:00.003-05:00

I don't think I am done for today, either. I really want to get Selah back from his trip around New York and Connecticut with Mr. Peet (which he really did take), because tomorrow I think I'd better finish his part of the book. It's going to take me a few hours to go through all my stuff on George and map out that part of the book, and I have a lot more things happening next week than I did this week, so it will be more challenging.

Also, the last week, Marshall's week, I will have almost nothing to go on compared to what I had for Selah and George. No letters, no journals, and the research I did years ago turned up very little. So I will have to invent an awful lot of stuff! I look at everything I have for Selah so far and think, wow, so much of that originated in things I got from Selah and his family, even if I changed things around to fill in gaps. I have only family stories and guess-work to go on for Marshall. So that third week will really be hard.

I think it's not so much that the second week is the hardest, as the NaNo site says. It's that when you get to about 12,000 words you bog down. At least, that's what's happened to me. So I need to finish up Selah and then move along to George.

Hm. Maybe I will just put in a place-holder saying "Here's where I will eventually write about Selah's travels around the state" and go on to the last part of that chapter, the way I had to when I got to the part about him learning articulation, since I have not yet been able to find out how it is/was taught, and don't want to spend the time digging right now.

See? This blog is useful just for thinking out loud! Thanks for being there.

My nephew C called last night - he is doing NaNo, too, and writing historical fiction about one of his ancestors about whom he's done a lot of research - someone who fought in the Battle of Hastings! He was feeling discouraged, I think, because of my word count vs. his. But I have the unfair advantage of having so many historical resources to draw upon (letters and journals). Even though I haven't been transcribing much of what I have, just having them for information is awfully helpful background. He's had to make up a lot more than I have. I told him to wait till I get to Marshall and Jimmy!

Then you'll hear me moan.

~Cheers

NaNoWriMo Day 5: 13,327 words and counting

2008-11-05T15:47:00.003-05:00

I feel giddy today because of the outcome of the election, and I HAVE to mention that because I can't stop thinking how wonderful the world is. But enough about that: on to ME.

I am ahead today, thanks to spending more time today on Selah than on anyone else. I did have a workshop on campus, and I took a nap this morning because for some reason I was really sleepy (I think it was because I was afraid to work on NaNo, actually), but then I made up for it by getting to another good stopping point.

Now I'm concerned because I still have SO MUCH Selah material that I don't know how to proceed with it. Do I include lots more of it, or do I stop around 18,000 words and go on to work on George as originally planned? I'll have to think about that, since I only have about 5,000 more words in which to get Selah from 1843 to 1849, and it took me till now to get from 1840 to 1843. Hm. Decisions, decisions.

But what I REALLY wanted to talk about today was: being in the moment. One of the things I've noticed that happens when I force myself to write for speed and quantity and not worry about quality is that I do everything, all day "in the moment" much more successfully than I ever have before.

When I am working on the novel, of course, it's easy to be in the moment (that is, only thinking about the novel) because I pretty much have to be in order to write that fast - otherwise, forget it. So I don't let anything else intrude.

And coffee helps with this. (Guilty little secret.)

But when I'm doing other things, especially when I have already done my writing for the day and met my quota, I find it easier to concentrate on what I am doing and not let other things intrude then, either, because I've had the supreme satisfaction of having completed a chunk of something, so I can now move on to something else with a clear conscience. Or, if I haven't done my writing yet, I have promised myself that chunk of time, and I know it will happen NO MATTER WHAT because I'm not going to let anything short of fire or (copious amount of a family member's) blood interfere, so I can relax and do whatever it is that needs doing and enjoy it with a clear conscience.

You noticed that bit about the conscience, didn't you. Ah, I thought you might.

'nuff said. We all know what that's about. If abusing myself by writing 2500+ words of blather per day will banish the Guilt Goblins, then that in itself makes the whole endeavor worthwhile, doesn't it? ;-)

~Cheers

NaNoWriMo Day 4: 10,132 words!!!

2008-11-04T14:24:00.003-05:00

Which means I am officially 1/5 of the way through. That's the good news.

The bad news is that I feel like my book's not really going anywhere, it's just sort of narrating. Blah. It's blah. It started off well enough, but now it's blah and boring.

Well, I will keep on going and hope that once I finish with Selah and start in on George it will get exciting again. Actually, I'm about to throw Selah a curve ball tomorrow, so maybe that will get things moving again.

I still believe in it - maybe my problem is that the election is today and that is such a high-anxiety thing that everything else pales by comparison?

What I really wanted to write about today, though, was my writing cape. Last week I was at Penney's picking up my new prescription sunglasses, and I had a coupon, and saw this lovely, fuzzy beige cape. On sale. Even cheaper with a coupon! I got it, and it has become my "writing cape." I wear it when I'm in my writing persona, and it really does help me get into that mode. I'll have to get a picture of myself in it and you can tell me if I look "writerly." ;-)

Tomorrow I shall blog about being in the moment.

For now: I gotta go vote.

~Cheers

NaNoWriMo Day 3

2008-11-03T15:29:00.002-05:00

And I'm up to 7349 words! My goal is to write around 2500 words a day, so I feel I'm pretty much on track. Hoping to hit 10K tomorrow, but it may be tight given that I'm going to work the phones for the Obama campaign from 9-12 and then stand in line to vote for however long it takes. And I have to write before N gets home!

Today I didn't write till after class ended at 12:30. I told the whole class about Nanowrimo, and that they were to bug me if I didn't keep up. I am telling as many people as possible so there is no backing out of the project. I should try that with losing weight some time - IF the novel works out.

Nah, losing weight's already too damn embarrassing.

Anyway, I took my laptop with me to school and before class I read through the history papers I have on the NY school for the deaf and decided on some things I wanted to put in the next part of the book. Then after class I went straight over to the library's faculty IT center. No one was there for the first hour, so I wrote like a fiend. I stopped when I'd written 1000 words and went upstairs to stretch and to get some coffee (this book seems to require regular infusions of coffee, though I'm not drinking more than a couple of cups per session - that's still a lot more than I usually drink, and probably bad for me, but it is good for the writing!). When I came back down, there were two people in the IT center, one of whom is a buddy who proceeded to chat with me for 25 mins., even after I told him what I was doing.

So I don't think that will be a regular writing venue from now on.

Still, if you don't count the chat time, I managed to write at about 1000 words per hour, and got home about 3:20. This despite a few more people coming in and talking, sometimes to him & sometimes to me, and someone switching on the big tv. So I've learned that when I'm in the right frame of mind, having other things going on around me (including conversations in Panera) does not impede my writing. That's a big revelation - I always thought I needed peace and quiet in order to write. Turns out that Chris Baty is right when he says in his book that what is really important is a deadline!

[AND not being home. At least, not when there's an imminent election. The phone has been ringing steadily while I've been gone, according to the answering machine: 10 calls, all from people wanting me to vote for them, and has already rung twice in the 15 mins. since I got home! I guess I should go to Panera tomorrow to write. Once the election's over it should be safe to write at home, if no one else is here.]

~Cheers

NaNoWriMo Day 2

2008-11-02T12:23:00.002-05:00

Day two was a little slower, but not too much. I started off thinking I'd be a cheater (according to the rules, it wasn't cheating - it was a suggestion in Baty's book, as a matter of fact, but to me it seemed like cheating) and rewrite a section I'd rethunk, but keep the old section in still. But when I rewrote, I ended up finding a way to keep the old section in legitimately, HAH! So there. No cheating, plus I increased the word count easily.

I kept wanting yesterday to come back to the book and add more, but didn't let myself. That way 1) lies madness, adding little dribs & drabs all day 2) makes my fambly annoyed, never being completely THERE for them (though I thought about the book all day & evening anyway, by not acting on it they couldn't tell - maybe) 3) keeps me from losing momentum, because when I sat down to write this morning it BURST out of me, being all pent-up and such.

Selah is now to the point of having figured out finger spelling, and let me tell you, it warn't easy to get him there. It's tough conceptually, and since I don't know how it's taught, I had to figure out how *I* would teach it if I had to. I worried a bit about being pilloried by deaf persons and teachers of the deaf, but since I'm writing it for myself and for my family (and for George), I made myself not worry about it.

And I can always change it later if I ever find out.

So now I have 5049 words, only the NaNo site is still down, so I can't record it. If it isn't up by the 25th I will be really annoyed. I plan to win this by finishing, and I want it verified and documented!!!

Anyway, I am 1/10 of the way through, by word count at least.

~Cheers

NaNoWriMo Day 1

2008-11-01T10:05:00.003-05:00

I am doing NaNoWriMo - in case there's anyone in the known universe I haven't yet told - and I am going to try to blog every so often about it.

Today was day 1, and I've been looking forward to it SO MUCH! Also been scared about it, but I started off well. It helped a lot that it was Saturday. I went to Panera (favorite shop in the world) and got some coffee (half-caf with half-and-half) and started writing. And the story took over. I'm writing historical fiction, and already the fiction has taken over the history, not only in the story but in my mind! I hope no one in the extended family gets mad about the things I'm inventing about Selah, but hey, it's FICTION, right? ;-)

I could not believe how fast it went, despite all my fears, especially once I stopped worrying about word choices and just plowed ahead. 2351 words in under 2 hours, I can't get over it! I thought it would take more like 3 hours. And I'd only planned a little bit of it ahead of time. And I had a couple of other ideas along the way, too, though I've already forgotten them, so I need to start writing things down, darn it.

Anyway, I hope it continues to go this well at least for a few days. If I can get 10K words I will feel I am on my way and too far along to stop.

Good luck to everyone else doing this!!!

~Cheers

Books, Books, Books

2008-10-11T16:10:00.004-05:00

Zora Neale Hurston's Tell My Horse: Voodoo and Life in Haiti and Jamaica is an amazing book. I read it on my 2500-mile journey at the end of the summer, and while it gave me one bad moment (I was up reading about zombies in the wee hours, in Savannah, and S came creeping into the room to see if I'd fallen asleep with the light on - scared me silly!), the book had me enthralled from the first page to the last. Despite having been published in 1934, the book is still remarkably up to date, according to a Haitian student of mine whose grandmother practices Vodou.

Vodou aside, Tell My Horse is a fascinating glimpse into the lives of people in 1930s Jamaica and Haiti. Hurston was many things, but most of all she was a phenomenal storyteller with a terrific sense of humor. In a sense, Jamaica, Haiti and Vodou are only ancillary to the book - the real interest lies in the individual people and the way their lives were shaped by their beliefs. I learned a great deal from Hurston's book, and I enjoyed it tremendously.

The next book I read was Ann Patchett's The Magician's Assistant. This is my first Patchett - I ordered several of her novels from paperbackswap after hearing her interviewed about her most recent novel, Run, on NPR. (I am rich with pbs credits right now, having not ordered much in a while.) The Magician's Assistant opens with the death of the magician, and it unfolds like one of those magic boxes that turns out to have more hidden chambers than seem physically possible. I did anticipate the very end, but was surprised by every single plot twist before it; by the time I finished the book, I was emotionally exhausted and felt I'd been on a long journey with the protagonist. It is, as the title suggests, a magical book, and particularly well suited for anyone who likes stage magic or magicians.

There have been several books in between that weren't all that notable, but I have to talk about The Graveyard Book, the latest from my favorite living author, Neil Gaiman. For a couple of years now, Gaiman has been blogging about writing it, and those of us who have followed his blog have been waiting anxiously to hold the finished product in our hands. (I am asking for the audio version for the holidays, as there is nothing to compare with Gaiman reading his own work.) I started out reading it together with R and N, but then I sneaked ahead and read the rest on my own - though I am still reading it aloud with them - and the best word I can think of to describe it is: "beautiful."

The Graveyard Book is about Bod, a living boy raised by the inhabitants of a graveyard - I won't ruin it by telling you how this comes about, as that is part of the story. The border between living and dead; those who are not quite either; the question of just what earns the label "monster" - these are themes Gaiman has dealt with before, and masterfully. What makes this book different, more wonderful than his other wonderful books, is that it really is for almost all ages. I don't think it would hold the attention of most 3-year-olds; but my 8-year-old loves it, and finds it creepy and scary and yet just right for her age; I've sent it to my 14-year-old niece, who I am sure will find it perfectly suited to her age; I know my 18-year-old daughter will want to read it when she gets home from college in December; and I think my mother will enjoy it thoroughly as well.

Not too many books you can say that about - not truthfully.

~Cheers

Beginning of Fall

2008-09-23T02:07:00.012-05:00

I've changed my profile back to myself - N is back in school and too busy to blog, and after 2500 miles of driving in three weeks, I am finally into a routine that allows me to blog again. First, the only mandala I managed all summer:
It is canvas, 24x24. It gave me great pleasure in the creation, and now both this and my original painted mandala are hanging in the front hall. I'd hoped for many more this summer, obviously, but only made this one, plus a couple of small paper ones that I did manage to mail out to people I hadn't contacted in a couple of years. I broke a lot of conventions I had felt constrained by when I made this particular mandala, so I was rather pleased with myself - it is freer and more open than most of my mandalas have been in the past. Happy days!

I also have some of C's lovely artwork to show this morning, from his theater classes. Here are some character sketches he did in marker. I'm sorry most of them are sideways, but I can't find a way to turn them. The first is, of course, loosely N, while the rest are fictional characters:

And then we have another of N's wonderful square mandalas:
And a beautiful mandala done first in pencil on paper by my niece S, and then stunningly in paint on an 18" round canvas:

Nice, eh? I know they LOOK like they're the same size, but the canvas is much larger than the paper. Know that she is a 13-yr-old Goth, and that the outer portion is waves of blood, and you will have a clearer idea of the design elements.

It was a tough summer, and not nearly long enough. I spent the first six weeks or so of it sick, and the rest of it trying to catch up on everything I'd fallen behind on. We had some good visits with and from friends/family, but there was always something else going on at the same time, and let me tell you, I am tired of multiplexing.

At the end of the summer was a positive storm of activity: driving Z to Chatham in Pittsburgh (very emotional), then returning for N's synchronized swimming show, which was wonderful. Driving down to Newport News, VA with N & C for W's wedding (great fun and also very emotional), then returning for two and a half days of teaching and frantic packing. And finally, driving to Savannah, GA to take C to SCAD (again with the emotion!)

I felt all wrung out last week, but am finally settling down to peace and quiet now and an easy-going routine of having just three schedules in the house. N is thriving in her only-child status, and while I miss C & Z tremendously and cannot wait for Thanksgiving when I will see them again, I am enjoying the one-on-one time with N. She loves to sing, and has a lovely voice. She's already able to sing rounds and is learning to sing harmonies, which is highly gratifying! Her favorite songs are "American songs" (i.e. rousing patriotic anthems she can sing at the top of her lungs or slowly and lugubriously) and "Jewish songs" (i.e. sung in Yiddish or Hebrew so she can roll her r's lavishly). She learns them so fast that the other day she said, "Even though I wasn't born Jewish, I think I was meant to be, because I learn these so fast," and her comment gave me goosebumps because it was what I had just that moment been thinking: these songs come so naturally to her . . . .

R's back is in terrible shape from one end to the other. He goes for another MRI, this time of the top of the spine, later this week. He had another three injections of cortisone last week and while they helped almost immediately, they've already worn off. Not A Good Sign. We're not mentioning the S(urgery) word yet, but I do suspect it will come to that eventually. Later rather than sooner, I hope.

And that's the news for now. More artwork soon, I hope!

~Cheers

Movies and Mandalas

2008-07-21T20:22:00.003-05:00

Yes, we have Gotham fever here. C has seen "The Dark Knight" four times in the past three days, and the rest of us (N excepted) have each seen it once. I thought it was tremendous, as did Z; R was underwhelmed, but I think he missed the point. He isn't a Batman fan, which is part of the problem. His back hurts, too, so sitting in a movie theatre is painful - another part of the problem.

Heath Ledger was amazing. I thought I would find it painful to watch his last performance, but I was so mesmerized by his acting that I completely forgot about the role having put him over the edge.

C&I also saw "Hellboy II," which I enjoyed, though it wasn't nearly the movie "Dark Knight" was. The creatures of Faerie were pretty darned cool - it was a beautiful, eerie film.

In other news, Z is now officially graduated, and has her diploma (misspelled) in hand. Her party was fun, and the house is, temporarily, cleaner and neater than usual. I spent yesterday and today patching her two quilts - this took hours, literally, but they are now ready to accompany her to college in a month (boo hoo!).

And today I finally began painting again. The mandala started out as planned, but rapidly took on a life of its own. The background became all Monet-y, and then the flower petals, which I had thought would be stark white, turned into waterlily-colored ones, though they're not shaped like waterlilies. So the whole thing is evolving into something altogether different from what I'd originally envisioned, which is fine, just surprising. I'm enjoying it tremendously, but I really need to call the rheumatologist tomorrow, because after painting for a while I could hardly straighten up, and am now typing this while flat on my back on the heating pad. Not good.

Hope I can work on it again tomorrow. I'll try to upload a picture soon.

~Cheers

Slightly Hampered

2008-07-04T15:20:00.009-05:00

I cannot find the cable that connects my camera to my pc. This would be more of a concern if my house weren't such a wreck; however, I feel there is still hope, so long as I get some serious cleaning done. Which NEEDS to be done soon anyway, given the imminence of Z's graduation party and several sets of houseguests.

In the meantime, I can run to CVS when my camera card fills up and have the machine make me a cd for $3, which I can then upload to the pc. Not too annoying, and a lot faster than cleaning up. ;-)

Here's N's mandala:
And the one I referred to much earlier, of mine:
At the Jepson Museum of Art in Savannah, there were some really cool photographic displays we played with. Here are Z & N in two of them:

Cool, eh?

And here is ONE of C's artworks from this past year, his pointillism project, which is just amazing, as far as I am concerned:
That's it for now - we're off to see "Wanted" (C & me) and "Wall-E" (Z&N). Happy 4th! Poor R is working. :-(

~Cheers

Suplise! and a wee bit o' panic

2008-07-01T01:31:00.003-05:00

This evening I went ahead and ordered about $150 worth of painting supplies - brushes and paints from Jerry's Artarama (see link above) and canvases from Cheap Joe's. The nice thing about Cheap Joe's is that you don't have to order 36 canvases at a time; Jerry's has a HUGE minimum order, and I was not prepared to store that many, let alone to spend that much on canvases alone. But Jerry's had a fabulous sale on some of their brushes (BOGO), so I got a set of 12 "mini micro" brushes for doing some small mandalas, and two huge fan brushes (one each for Z & me) as well as two huge flat-end brushes (one each for Z & me) for scumbling- we've always used cheapo brushes for that, but that is a pain, because the hairs always come off, which means we have to pick the hairs out of the paint surface, and it's very annoying & messy, as well as inefficient.

And then Jerry's also had their liquitex acrylic paint on sale, too, so we got ten colors we were out of or almost out of. As soon as all this stuff comes, we'll be in business!

In the meantime, I have SIX (6) mandalas planned out in my head. Well, the miniature one (which I will do on an 8" round canvas) is already done in colored pencil on vellum, and I mentioned it in my first post of the summer, but have not yet posted it. I think it will be nice as a small, finely-detailed painting. I have a square canvas that has been sitting waiting patiently for a concept since last summer, and now I have it designed to the last detail in my imagination - I also have all the necessary paints and brushes. What I need now is the time to create it in miniature with pencils and markers, so I can work out all the rough spots, and then I can start painting.

Then I have four other ideas: one is already started on my biiiig sketch pad, and just needs to have the sketch finished before I paint. The other three need some geometry help from R - how to measure to get seven equal points around a circle, that sort of thing. All four of these will be painted on 20" diameter circular canvases. One will be called "Maha Chakra," or "Great Chakra," combining all seven chakras. The other two will be sort of mirror images of each other, and I need to work on the center they will share, which is a stylized version of - I won't say, but will hope you can tell once I've drawn it. I'll have to draw all three of these as smallish mandalas before I paint them.

So, at least six paintings before the end of the summer, as well as a ton of small mandalas to make 50 in all.

And yes, Ker and Mom, you will each get a letter & mandala from me, I promise.

Meanwhile, I am pulling together N's birthday party. She is having ONE close friend from school for a day of festivities: meeting at Bounce U to frolic from 1:30-3, then coming home for cake, then painting t-shirts to commemorate the day, then (weather permitting) swimming for an hour or so, then coming home for supper, then playing till dark, then setting off (legal) fireworks, then we'll take Jenna home and all come back to fall into bed with utter exhaustion. But I think this will be nicer than the usual bunch of kids for 2 hrs. of pandemonium, and N & Jenna are very excited about it. Btw, those fireworks were purchased at a stand which was located at a gas station - can you think of a worse venue?

I have GOT to go bed. I've been suffering from terrible insomnia ever since I started taking a sleeping pill (trazodone). I am not impressed with it. It takes forever to get to sleep, and then I sleep so soundly that I sleep till 10 am or later & am groggy all day. Bah.

Tomorrow is yet another big day. The Sears repairperson is coming to fix our washing machine, which no longer spins at the end of the cycle, so all the clothes are sopping wet and take forever to dry unless we wring them out. Z has a library reading to do at N's school in the morning, so C is taking them in order for me to be home in case Sears comes. But I have a meeting to complain about Angel's poor performance in my 6-week class (which is now over, huzzah!) at 2 pm, so the kids have to stay home in case Sears hasn't yet come by then. We've been told they're coming "between 8 & 5" - very specific, ain't it?

~Cheers
.

Student Mandalas

2008-06-25T22:34:00.015-05:00

No, these aren't the promised art works by C. I haven't photographed those yet! I had a wonderful weekend getaway with my family at Oglebay Park in West Virginia (you know, where you leave your teeth and shoes at the border). Then came home and had a three-day migraine.

So I'm a bit behind in things, including mandala-creating. I have written my first letter, at least!

Anyway, here are the best mandalas from my first summer class, the 6-week one. I've really enjoyed this group of students; usually I lose about half of the class, but in this case I've only lost 2 or 3 out of 30, and the rest have done quite well. This despite two ending up in the hospital, too!

On to the mandalas.
I think this is my favorite one - at least, I wish I had painted it!:
This one was done in chalk on the driveway, and then erased. Very clever.

I like that this one is off-center a bit:
This was done in the sand on the beach, then allowed to be washed away by the tide:
My other favorite one from this class - try zooming in to see how great the detail is! I think of it as a Montana mandala.
~Cheers

Bragging

2008-06-17T09:12:00.008-05:00

Today I want to post some of Z's work from this past semester. She took ceramics, and every week when she came home she was simply covered in clay. And very discouraged. My romantic illusion of the smoothly humming pottery wheel was shattered by her tales of woe - she'd start to get her blob of clay to look like something, and then it would suddenly all go to smush inexplicably. She found the pottery wheel extremely frustrating.

Nevertheless, she managed to turn out two cute little mugs by the end of the semester.
Aren't they nice? She's pretty happy with them, particularly since her professor was a very hands-off teacher and she received little in the way of guidance throughout the semester. So she was basically self-taught.

Her favorite piece, however, was a "built" project (i.e. not thrown on the wheel), a replica of an ancient statue of a hawk.
She was happy with every phase, from the building to the glazing, and I think it's quite handsome, too.

My favorite of her works is a pair of vases with tiny ocean creatures. Z isn't pleased with the way the glazes came out; many of the glazing powders were mislabeled in the studio, so she didn't get what she'd expected. But I love them, and she gave them to me for Mothers' Day.
I particularly like the little sea creatures. Aren't they dear?

Two other pieces she did are also quite nice. The glaze on this one is pretty cool, and I love the multiple holes in the top:
Another view of it, from the side:
And this one she plans to take with her to college in the fall to hold her paintbrushes (she's also taking the little mugs):
Finally, here is the chocolate mandala she and her cousins made for our Passover Seder this past April. At the end of the Seder we dismantled it and every guest took some of the chocolates home with them - similar to the sweeping away of a Tibetan sand mandala and dispersing of the sands in the waters of a river. Yum!
Tomorrow, another showcase.

~Cheers

First Summer Post

2008-06-16T20:17:00.002-05:00

I've finally decompressed from one of the roughest semesters yet, and I'm 2/3 of the way through my six-week summer online course. I'm also teaching a 12-week course, but it's a breeze compared to the six-week course; there are 10 students in the 12-week course and 30 in the 6-week course, and the 6-week course is also in the new LMS (platform, or format, or whatever you want to call it), so there've been a lot of bugs to work out. But I have a really good bunch of students, so it's been a pleasure, despite the workload.

We had a family art night this evening, and I made the first mandala in months, not counting our Seder mandala - what a pleasure! I'll try to post it soon, along with last term's student mandalas and some artwork that C, Z & N did last term. There just hasn't been time to post till now.

And I know what this summer's mandala project will be. 50 mandalas, to commemorate my 50th birthday (I am still shaken by that), by the end of the summer, at least half of which I plan to send with letters (SNAIL MAIL) to people I haven't written to in a long time. I'm sure I can come up with at least 25 people who qualify, and it will be nice to make connections with people again. I miss snail mail; I used to write at least ten substantive letters a month, and now I hardly ever write letters to anyone. It's all email . . . .

~Cheers

Book Talk

2008-02-25T17:25:00.005-05:00

Darn font size issues, anyway!

The first books I have to talk about are Philip Ardagh's Eddie Dickens series, which N & I have been enjoying right out the wazoo. I have to say that my favorite is the second in the trilogy, Dreadful Acts, which starts out with the explanation in the Foreword

"[This book is] set in England sometime during the reign of Queen Victoria (who sat on the throne for more than sixty-three years, so let's hope she had a cushion) . . . "

Here's another good excerpt, one that made both N & me laugh, N at the beginning, me at the end:

"What you need is a nice hot cup of tea," said the policeman.
"Thank you," said Eddie, accepting the drink.
"What you get is a lukewarm mug of water. What do you think this is, the Fitz?" The Fitz was a newly opened restaurant in London that was so posh, even the doorman was the Earl of Uffington and the washer-upper was a much-decorated soldier - he had three layers of wallpaper under his uniform.
"How much longer are you going to keep me here?" asked Eddie.
"Have you heard of habeas corpus?" asked the peeler.
Eddie shook his head. (His own head, that is. He knew that shaking the policeman's head might annoy him.)
"Then we can keep you here as long as we like," said the peeler.

You get the picture. Sort of Douglas Adams for kids. Lots of fun, and highly gratifying to see one's child developing a good sense of humor.

Now for a highly disappointing book - no, I won't bother. I'm just going to list Neal Karlen's Shanda: The Making and Breaking of a Self-Loathing Jew on paperbackswap and get rid of it. I could not get through it: the fellow wasn't happy being Jewish, wished he could be happy being Jewish, and apparently (though I never got that far) ended up becoming a born-again Jew, but he was such an obnoxious boor through the whole process that I just quit reading. I don't enjoy reading about people who are obnoxious, period.

Well, okay, let me backtrack just a bit on that. Philip Lee Williams' Perfect Timing is about a fellow I consider rather obnoxious, in that he can't get over his obsession with himself. But the other characters in the book are so funny & endearing that I couldn't stop reading it - I had to find out what happened to them! Clarence Clayton, his cousin, is my favorite. He got religion in jail; while he's a little iffy on the details of the bible, he's quite comfortable making up anything he might not know definitively:

"The heavenly band of angels, lo, they playeth on harps. And harmonicas."
We all stared at him. I was startled by his apparent lunacy, but Mom was becoming more wrung out with each of his words. I was going to let it drop. Mom couldn't. It wasn't in her nature.
"What?" she said. "Did you say angels play on harmonicas?" Her voice rose a bit near the end of the sentence."
"The children of Israel took out they timbrels and danced. I read it. I couldn't figure what a timbrel might be, but it's got to be a harmonica because it's small enough to take out from somewhere."
"And what did they play on the harmonica?" asked Mom. Her voice was too loud.
"Country music," said Clarence.
"Country music!" yelled Mom.
"Yeah," he went on. "See, most of theseth Israelinos wasn't from the city, they was from the country, so I figure when they made music, it was country music."

Clarence isn't the only marvelous character in the book. Worth reading, for sure.

Finally, we have (in our completely mixed bag today), Haruki Murakami's After Dark. A rather unsatisfying novel, I felt, with a cover that I keep staring at (usually I don't pay this much attention to covers, but I tell you, it's got a GREAT cover!!!). Mari Asai's sister, Eri, has decided to go to sleep and not wake up. She hasn't committed suicide - she's just sleeping. She apparently wakes every so often to go to the bathroom, bathe and eat, but not when anyone sees her do it. Mari is the only one in the family who is distressed by it. The novel consists of one night in Mari's life, during which she has long conversations with a boy who knows both her and her sister (though neither of them well), and some other encounters with night people.

It's a strange and compelling novel, and I did want to read it all the way through. And I realize there was plenty going on under the surface. But at the end I felt as if I'd eaten a marshmallow - lots of air and no real substance. Lots & lots of symbolism without much heft.

I've read a lot of other things I didn't post about, but I don't remember any more, it's been such a long time!

~Cheers

The Calvinist Taoist OR Chicken Little and the Doctrine of Emptiness

2008-02-25T17:00:00.003-05:00

My student Joe recently loaned me A.C. Graham's translation of the Liehtzu, a Taoist work I had not previously read. Much of it has to do either with emptiness or, interestingly enough, with the interplay between something Graham translates as "endeavor" (I wish I had the Chinese original) and "destiny" (which I assume is ming).

When speaking of emptiness, he reminds me of a discussion I had last semester with a student about when Buddhism came to China; Scott (a Buddhist) suggested that Buddhism must have arrived before Taoist thought arose, influencing it heavily. At the time, I pooh-poohed his suggestion. After reading the Liehtzu, I am not so sure. The passages concerning emptiness read like something out of a Zen classic (if such could be said to exist). Here's my favorite one - sorry it's so long, but it's really good:

There was a man of Ch'i county who was so worried that heaven and earth might fall down, and his body would have nowhere to lodge, that he forgot to eat and sleep. There was another man who was worried that he should be so worried about it, and therefore went to enlighten him.
'Heaven is nothing but the accumulated air; there is no place where there is not air. You walk and stand all day inside heaven, stretching and bending, breathing in and breathing out; why should you worry about falling down?'
'If heaven really is accumulated air, shouldn't the sun and moon and stars fall down?'
'The sun and moon and stars are air which shines inside the accumulated air. Even if they did fall down, they couldn't hit or harm anyone.'
'What about the earth giving way?'
'The earth is nothing but accumulated soil, filling the void in all four directions; there is no place where there is not soil. You walk and stand all day on the earth, stamping about with abrupt spurts and halts; whyshould you worry about it giving way?'
The man was satisfied and greatly cheered; and so was the man who enlightened him.

As I said, Chicken Little . . . .

Here is one of the many things the Liehtzu has to say about Destiny:

. . . The wisdom of sages cannot defy this,
Demons and goblins cannot cheat this.
Being of themselves as they are
Silently brings them about,
Gives them serenity, gives them peace,
Escorts them as they go and welcomes them as they come.

Finally, a story that made me smile, and that reminds me of the joke about the old Jewish man who prays every day to win the lottery:

There was a man of Sung who was strolling in the street and picked up a half tally someone had lost. He took it home and stored it away, and secretly counted the indentations of the broken edge. He told a neighbor, 'I shall be rich any day now.'

Good read, Joe. Thanks!

~Cheers

Pogo and Plastic Bags

2008-02-08T14:50:00.000-05:00

I was listening to "Here & Now" on WHYY the other day and heard an interview with Bob Lilienfeld on the issue of "paper vs. plastic." It's one of those issues that makes my head hurt because of the complexity.

First we welcomed plastic bags because we could stop using paper bags and "save the trees." Now plastic has taken over the landfills, bags are hanging shredded from trees along the highways, and they're spilling from our closets as we collect them to take to the grocery to recycle them - assuming our stores actually do recycle them, and not just pitch them (as some do).

Did you know, for example, that 50% of all the plastic bags collected for recycling by grocery stores such as ours (Giant) are not made into more grocery bags, but instead into faux wood decking? Which is good, in that they don't wind up caught in trees along the highways or in landfills, but bad in that eventually they do end up in landfills when the decks are no longer wanted, and then they will take even longer to break down. It also means that more plastic bags are manufactured from scratch to take the place of the ones that are made into faux wood decking instead of into recycled plastic bags.

Is the faux wood decking worse than using real wood? Hm, says Lilienfeld, maybe not, because we have to factor in the chemicals used to pressure treat real wood if it's going to be made into decks (so that it won't rot - i.e. biodegrade), and if you paint it, those chemicals as well. What goes into making the paint & the chemicals? And of course, how long does it take the paint & chemicals to break down (and what do they do to the environment when they enter the soil)? Not so easy to determine which is greener.

Say, how about those new biodegradable plastic bags? They sound better than they are, according to Lilienfeld. The problem is that the one grocery stores are beginning to use cannot biodegrade in ordinary landfills, but must be buried in special landfills, meaning that municipalities must set up their own plants that can process polyhydroxyalkanoate (PHA) (yes, I had to look that word up - my memory for chemical compounds isn't that good!). Here's the only article I could find on it quickly.

What about everything we've heard about those great "compostable" plastic bags? Well, I haven't spoken with anyone who has used them, so I don't know. This site and this one both promise "no actual polyethylene," but why add the word "actual"? Do they contain "virtual" polyethylene? I just wonder about that wording. Lilienfeld warns that these so-called "biodegradable plastic bags" are NOT compostable and should NOT be put in compost that is used on vegetables.

A caller to the show pointed out that another problem with using cornhusks, the most common ingredient in these alternative plastic bags, is that it means fewer cornhusks are plowed under. The benefit of plowing cornhusks into the soil is that they prevent soil erosion. Make enough of these cornhusks into plastic bags, and more erosion results. Sheesh, I would never have thought of that, but it makes sense!

As Pogo said, "it's all connected."

So what's the solution? Reusable bags, for one. We have a bunch of cloth bags, and we have a few that fold up pretty small to be stuffed in pockets, and we can carry them around just in case. If stores stopped giving away bags, people would start carrying their own (after they spent a mighty long time bitching about poor service).

Ah, it doesn't really solve the problem, does it?

~Psi

It's Still Me!

2008-02-03T16:35:00.000-05:00

So, N wanted her own blog. I decided to let her do it, since she wants to do all the writing herself, and it's good typing practice (does anyone call it typing any more, or is it all keyboarding?) as well as spelling, though I'm helping her with both at her request. Feel free to leave her comments. For all I know, her first post will be her last.

In order to give her a photo of her own, and her own name, I had to take mine off. I also took my account off the books, so to speak, so no one can find it in searches, since I've no idea what she'll want to post in the way of family photos or photos of herself. I guess this is the elementary school version of MySpace.

Cheers

Finally, Some Art

2008-01-25T15:45:00.000-05:00

Not mine, so is that cheating? If lately you think I've become more acerbic, maybe it's because Z & I have been watching lots of episodes of "House." We just finished Season Two and started Season Three. Which is appropriate to the above drawing, as it is C's rendition of my late father-in-
law, who was a physician (neurologist) and, during the later stages of his battle with cancer, walked with a cane. Other than that, he had nothing in common with Gregory House, as Doug was quite a pleasant person. Lovely drawing, and I should have had it up here long ago.
The angels are by Z, one of the projects for last semester's 2-Dimensional Design class. Very nice, but it drove her nuts to do it. I find that the sky makes the most sense to me when I distance myself from it; up close it's a bit confusing to me. I love the colors.
And from the lowest-altitude parishioner, a wet-felted earthsnake, which took a long time to make (according to low-altitude parishioner time-frame, anyway) and is quite charming.

From me? Nada. Neither the time nor the psychic energy to do art. I have, however, made significant progress on my dream of holding an all-day religion workshop on campus, and even have a date: April 11. Next up: ascertaining whether or not the speakers who signed on can actually make it that day, and finding speakers for the still-open slots. The devil is in the details which, for a religion workshop, is a non-trivial consideration.

~Cheers

Ways of Looking at Religions

2008-01-24T14:14:00.000-05:00

There are a number of ways in which to classify religions, if you like doing such things - which I do, being as how that's my "thing." One way is into "faith-based" and "action-based" - that is, defining one's "-ism" by what one believes, or by what one practices.

I'll give you an example. All it takes to become a Muslim is to recite the Shahadah ("Allah is One and Muhammad is His Prophet"), with utter belief and certainty, before a particular number of witnesses. Then POOF! you're a Muslim.

Islam is a faith-based religion.

To become a Jew, on the other hand, is somewhat more complicated. Either you have to be born to a Jewish woman, in which case you're always Jewish (see my earlier post, with the caveat that some denominations may quibble about Good Jews and Bad Jews), or you have to go through quite a rigorous process that involves doing things. And it doesn't so much matter what you believe - it's how you live your life that counts.

Judaism is an action-based religion.

So today one of my students (an atheist) commented that Cargo Cults are not religions because they aren't "faith based." I pointed out that a) they ARE faith-based and b) some religions (like Judaism) ARE NOT faith-based. He said yes, Judaism IS faith-based. I said no, it's not, it's action-based, and anyway - what about atheistic Jews? He said they're not Jews. I said gee, they'd be awfully surprised to hear that, since they consider themselves to be so. Because I haven't yet gone over the difference between faith-based and action-based, he didn't get it - the only concession he was willing to make was between "faith-based" and "blind-faith based." ooookay, he doesn't have a very large ax to grind!

There are plenty of other ways of classifying religions (or anything else, for that matter - I am a relativist about almost everything, which can drive my family nuts). I learned a completely new way today, though. After class, another student came up to me and said he pretty much knows the material already, but he's taking the class for an unusual reason. Organized religion, he said, really makes him angry. One of his parents is Jewish and the other is Catholic, and he went to Catholic school, which he told me was a traumatic experience (I know there are some of you out there who will identify with this!). So after he graduated, he went to his Jewish roots, but that just made him mad, too. He made the rounds of various religions, but they all made him mad. (Bear in mind that he seems like a very nice, mild-mannered fellow, but I know that's what was said about Dahmer, too.)

So I suggested that he go to the Blue Mountain Zendo, because hey, who ever heard of getting mad at a Buddhist? He said oh, what a good idea, and anyway, Buddhism's not a religion, and he's only mad at religions.

So - new way to classify religions: those that piss me off, and those that don't. It actually works incredibly well for me, as there really are some that get my knickers in a twist the minute I think of them (it's so hard to teach them that I always look for guest lecturers!), while there are others that I find quite calming.

I like to think that I learn something from my students every day.

Oh, and I already have pegged the student who will do every single assignment the wrong way. He's already done the first one wrong, and that one was just to send me an email from his college email address.

~Namaste

Bear Hats

2008-01-21T17:23:00.000-05:00

Oh if I were a bear (and a big bear, too),
I wouldn't much care if it froze or snew . . .

But it IS freezing, though it's not snewing (yet), and our furnace is NOT happy, and that makes me rather wish I were a bear.

Just got copied on an email for Z from the head of the Black Rose Tellers, that tomorrow they are to bring their "bear hats" so they can practice for the Teddy Bear Party they're holding for the smalls next month at the library. "Bear Hats???" I emailed back. "Of course, hats worn by bears!" was the reply, followed by "no no no, hats with bear ears, what did you think? Apparently, there's been a typical lack of communication twixt teens & parents."

If I'm expected to make a bear hat by tomorrow night's meeting, I will be feeling even more bearish. I doubt my sewing machine will work at these sub-zero temps - I know my fingers can bear(heh)ly type.

Click on the title to see what came up when I googled "bear hats" & hit "I'm feeling lucky." I esp. like the one with the hole for the pony tail.

~N-n-n-n-am-m-mast-t-t-te (brrrr)

Monsters in the House

2008-01-19T20:03:00.000-05:00

"DAD! Quick, come up, there's a huge centipede!"

Wrong thing to say. You can call on R in almost any emergency, but he does NOT do centipedes.

Both girls were upstairs, having taken a shower, and were in a panic, towels wrapped around themselves, screaming their heads off. R's response?

"Uh, he's gone out for a walk, sorry."

I went upstairs, shoe in hand, and encountered something like this:
Okay, so it was only about 2" long & didn't have the head of a dragon, but you get the idea. I don't particularly care for the things, but they don't bother me nearly as much as they bother the rest of the crew. I smashed it & it actually sprayed everywhere, which was pretty spectacular.

Once he realized that all the ruckus was over, R came up to "save the day." And was appalled by the mess.

Did anyone call me "hero" or fawn over me? No. I'm just the mom, so I guess this kind of thing is my job. And now N is using this as her latest excuse not to go to bed because she's afraid of another centipede "attack."

Psi. I suppose, as a good Buddhist, I should have scooped the poor thing up & set it down outside. This is one of the advantages of being a mutant instead of a purebred. I can rationalize my way out of certain rules.

~Namaste

and

2008-01-18T11:18:00.001-05:00

I don't know why that post looks like a rant, but the whole thing turned into a huge font & I could not for the life of me change it.

Maybe Auslander is right.

~Namaste?

jubufucianism

2008-01-18T10:48:00.000-05:00

It's the beginning of the semester (almost - as of the 21st, anyway) and once again, I am dodging questions from my students as to my religious identity. It's not surprising that they are curious; after all, I'm asking them to tell me theirs (the first assignment is to take the belief-o-matic quiz and comment on the results). But I like keeping mine a secret till the end of the course. For one thing, it allows me to pretend, as I present each religion in turn, that it is my own, offering it up as The Most Reasonable, Attractive Religious Alternative There Is so that the students will be less likely to look on it as FOREIGN or WEIRD. For another, I want all my students to feel equally comfortable (or uncomfortable) with me, which they won't if they find out that I was raised as a Jew (and therefore will always, despite my best efforts to the contrary, BE a Jew), chose Confucianism (it being the religion closest to Judaism that I could find without actually being Judaism), and got sucked into Buddhism against my will simply because it makes more sense than any other religion I've encountered.

You think these don't mix well? Look at this - and this - and it was my Mandarin professor and my next-door-neighbor in Hsinchu who taught me about the similarities between Judaism and Confucianism, but if you want genuine www evidence, see here and here as well. And then there are all those clever Jewish haiku, which technically point to Shinto but let's not get technical.

Yet another reason for not coming out of the closet to my students right off the bat: in the beginning, they don't know from Buddhism or Confucianism ("Confrushus say, rucky man have rots of sons"), nor have they any idea how one might hold more than one belief system simultaneously. By the end of the semester, those who have managed to get an A in the class have figured this out, so they can handle the information.

I just finished Shalom Auslander's inspired memoir, Foreskin's Lament. Coming on the heels of a couple of conversations with my friend J, it has screwed me up more than I can say, which is what a really good book about religion always does to me, and which I welcome. I'd never really envisioned God as hanging around waiting to give me a good zetz, so this is certainly a new one to mull over.

It's a very funny book; also a scary one. I always knew religion could mess people up pretty badly, but I'd never seen it from the Jewish side before. Next I want to read the memoir of a Buddhist kid whose parents went overboard with religion. Now that would be something, wouldn't it?
~Namaste

Forty-eight

2008-01-17T16:56:00.000-05:00

Funny how having a friend die at the age of 48 has made me not mind at all the fact that I'll be turning fifty this year. It seemed a fearsome thing only a few months ago. Now? Something to be thankful for.

Karen didn't even quite make it to her 49th birthday - just a few weeks short of it, in fact. This is something that matters, since birthdays have always been a big deal to me, a chance for everyone to say "gee, we're awfully glad you are in the world with us."

Her memorial service last weekend was exactly that. People gathered from all over the country to share their memories of her, and to tell each other why we were glad she'd been in the world. She wasn't perfect; I didn't share any of my (few) negative memories of her (of course I do have some - and I cherish her all the more for being human and fallible). Nor did I share all of my positive memories - and I have a great many of those. I loved listening to others' stories about her. It was nice to hear about periods in her life in which I did not know her at all.

I like to think of the memorial service as having been the 49th birthday party she didn't get to have. She was one of the kindest people I ever knew, and I'll bet that her ability to put herself in someone else's shoes was one of the reasons she was not only a good dancer but a very effective dance therapist. I hope she was able to attend the party and see just how much we all appreciated her.

~Namaste

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T12:13:00.000-05:00

As you will see if you click on the title link, 2008 is a leap year. For some reason, probably having to do with N's proclivity for leaping about, this makes me nervous.

The first book I've read this year (today) is Gene Luen Yang's American Born Chinese. Yet another graphic novel, I know! Brace yourselves, because I've got quite a pile more to go through this year. This one will be the best of the lot, though, I'm sure of it. I've been wanting to read it for some time now, and it is every bit as good as the reviews all said it was. C made a face when he saw me reading it; he doesn't want to read it because he's very unhappy about living it right now. Z, however, does want to read it, and I think she'll enjoy it for the same reason he won't.

Yang interweaves the tales of the Monkey King and a horrible stereotype named "cousin Chin-kee" with his protagonist Jin, a boy whose family has just moved from San Francisco to the wilds of suburbia where he is one of only two Asian Americans in the entire school. Some of the book is laugh-out-loud funny, some is incredibly painful (particularly as I've seen my own children suffer through similar situations) and every bit of it is absolutely true.

American Born Chinese was a 2006 National Book Award finalist. I hope a great many people read it. I also hope a great many libraries purchase it. Anyone who has not been a member of a visibly identifiable minority needs to have some idea of just what that really means.

On a lighter note: my brother-in-law's family gifted us with red and green compact fluorescent light bulbs for Christmas (as well as a box of the regular sort), and we've been having fun with them. After briefly considering putting a red one in as our porch light, R installed all three of the red ones in our downstairs bathroom. The result looks like we might well be the sort of establishment that has a red light on the porch:
N says it looks like a demon bathroom. At any rate, it's quite fun!
I began the day with a 2 mile walk, which I'm hoping to be able to do on a regular basis. We'll see how that goes . . . .

Happy New Year from Syzygy House!

~Namaste

Student Mandalas, Fall '07

2007-12-16T20:07:00.000-05:00

Here are the most outstanding of the ones from my morning class. Once again, the ones I would have awarded the top honors were not those chosen by the class to receive the prizes, but I would have had a terrible time deciding on first, second and third places. So I will continue to have the students vote on this, although I will always be the one to do the grading.

Weather pundits predicted a terrible ice storm headed our way, so although all we could see were clouds that morning, all the schools (except our college) were closed. N came along with me to see my students' mandalas. She wasn't as comfortable with this group as she had been with the evening crowd, though - probably because as we walked in and they saw her, a loud "awwwww!" rose from the students, and she immediately shrank into herself. (Hard for those of you who know her to imagine, but it really did happen!)

First prize went to this '60s-style "hippie" poster (as her classmates dubbed it), primarily, I think, because it was so colorful. It's a nice piece. She did a good job of incorporating many diverse religious symbols in a cohesive manner, too.
Second place went to a poster that wowed everyone but that I didn't get a clear picture of. The student had visited a church, a synagogue and a Hindu temple and had taken gorgeous photos in each place, then mounted them all on his poster. It's always iffy trying to get a photo of photos, alas.

Third place was a tie between two of the pieces I liked very, very much. This one is a labyrinth created by embedding tiles and wire in calk. Quite nice, and no one could keep their fingers from tracing it over and over.
Below is a picture whose lines flow beautifully. I just like it. Don't you? This guy is a friend of Z's as well as a student of mine, in Z's Chinese class. Interesting fellow. Anyway, you can't really see all the strokes in the picture, but he was meticulous in his use of the marker, making all the strokes go in particular directions. You will see this if you open it in a new window, larger.
Here are a few more from the class that I found noteworthy. This one I am pretty sure was not original to the student, but taken from a website. Still, it's an interesting concept: physical and spiritual evolution.
And this outstanding painting was done by a student who either didn't do his other assignments or did them in such a slap-dash fashion that he did very poorly on them. Yet on this assignment he obviously worked very hard.
Isn't this one clever? This comes from a very quiet, but very bright student who always sat in the back. I wish he had been willing to speak up . . . .
We finished up class by watching a bit of jewlarious and mrdeity, and then when N & I went out into the cold we found ourselves in the midst of the promised ice storm. Instead of taking 12 minutes to get home, it took almost 1/2 hour. Other cars were slipping all over the place, but not ours. Perhaps because of driving very slowly? Guardian angels? At any rate, we were glad to get home.

And here is a picture of Z's tiny menorah, as well as one of N's glass menorah. Finally, now that all the menorahs are put away and we are preparing to put up our tree for Yule!

Next time I will show some photos of Z's & C's latest art.

~Namaste

What Children Learn in School

2007-12-07T15:22:00.000-05:00

N has been washing her hands more lately. This is a good thing.

Not that we haven't always taught her to do this, mind you. And not that we have neglected to teach her to use soap, or to spend plenty of time scrubbing (in fact, I taught her to count to 15 slowly while sudsing). But when "nice Mrs. G. at school" tells her to do it, for some reason it carries more weight.

And now she not only washes carefully, but she sings while she washes. Two choruses of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat," to be precise.

The school nurse is using this clever strategy to get the younger children to soap up long enough to kill bacteria, and I think it's great! N is enthusiastic about it, and even when she rushes through it, she can only sing the words so fast, you know? Two verses still take enough time that she does a pretty good job with that soap.

Incidentally, she's learned another interesting life lesson from one of her "specials," this one last year, actually. She explained to me very seriously last year that when she runs in gym class she is always very quiet and never yells, because "when you yell, it slows you down - my gym teacher told us that." Heh heh - talk about a smart guy! This is the man who broke her heart by retiring last year, and it's taken the new young woman almost three months to gain N's trust. N is very loyal! This new gym teacher learned the rule from N, according to N, and thought it was just dandy. I asked N if it's always quiet in gym when there is running, and she shook her head sadly. Apparently not all of the kids are as serious about running fast as she is.

Last night it was still enough that R & N managed to light our outdoor menorah. Z had already left for art class, and C had taken her; I was in bed with a migraine, so R & N went out and said the blessing and lit it, and I crawled to the window to admire it. It was lovely, especially with the snow falling. It is R's invention: large jars with candles in them (held in place by wax), sitting on our garden bench. Not easy to photograph, so here's the best I could do:
Maybe tonight R will go out & take a picture from closer up. This was taken by me from inside, which was the best I could manage, given my condition. Considering that the mitzvah is to light a menorah where everyone can see it, and our indoor ones are not by a window, we really should have this in the front yard, not the back, but I'm pretty sure (with all the vandalism lately) it would be broken. Maybe we will try it the last night.

~Namaste

Hanukkah at Our House - Night 1

2007-12-04T22:04:00.000-05:00

If you click on the link above, it will take you to the latest Jewlarious Hanukkah film. I am of two minds about this film - on the one hand, having grown up Jewish in the Bible belt, I can really identify with poor Mordecai. On the other hand, the film doesn't exactly promote good relations among religions. On the third hand, why should Jews always be the understanding ones . . . . (Being Jewish, I get to have three hands/see three sides to every issue.)

What do you think?

We make a big deal about Hanukkah at our house, particularly the first and last nights, but all the nights are special. The three kids & I spent a good portion of today cleaning and preparing the house, and R came home early (though he didn't make it in time for sundown, thanks to the hour-long commute and a stop along the way to buy traps for the colony of mice . . . more on that, later). We made mountains of latkes, and when everyone was home and ready, we lit the menorahs.

We gave the kids their presents before candle-lighting this evening. N had told me last week that she felt she needed a new, bigger menorah. C has my menorah, Z has my brother Nick's menorah, and N has my brother Jason's menorah. It just so happens that C's is largest, Z's is middle-sized and N's is smallest (hey, Mom & Dad, did you do that on purpose when we were small?). N opined that now that she is bigger (7 years old), she needed a menorah befitting her size, even though her rank is unchanged.

I'd seen a lovely glass menorah made up of separate blocks that can be configured in all sorts of ways, and had planned to get it for myself, but I got it for N instead. It isn't exactly large, but being able to rearrange it constantly seemed appropriate to her personality, and she loves it. I also found a tiny one that takes birthday cake candles, and got that one for Z, who was enchanted by it and said "Ooooh, I'll take it to college with me next year!" Well, I suppose she can take it to her dorm room, but she won't be allowed to put candles in it. Ah, well.

C said he really only needs one menorah, so we gave him the latest season of "Smallville" instead, and he was really pleased with that.

Then we lit up the five menorahs (I don't put candles in my menorah any more, not since the year I discovered that it was flammable - it caught on fire!) and ate about 3/4 of the latkes (we deliberately make extras). A word about my latkes: I bake them, because I don't like fried foods. So they're weird, but they're healthy. We spent more than an hour over dinner, just enjoying each other - and with all the cooking, the dining area of the house was pretty warm!

At bedtime, I read N a new Hanukkah book: Lemony Snicket's The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming: A Christmas Story. I recommend it highly, particularly as a POINTED gift to anyone who thinks that Hanukkah is "the Jewish Christmas." N wants to take it to school tomorrow so she can see if her teacher will read it to the class.

We decided not to light our outdoor menorah this evening - it's just too windy, and I was afraid the jars would blow over & break. Perhaps tomorrow night. When we do it, I'll take a picture and post it, along with a picture of the new menorahs. They're more interesting to photograph when there are more candles in them, anyway.

News bulletin: R has come upstairs to announce that he thinks he's gotten the furnace working! Keep your fingers crossed!

Mice: last night, C & I were watching a movie when I heard a noise in the ceiling. Looking up, I saw FOUR large mice (at least, I hope they were mice - if they were rats, they were small ones) skitter across the light panel. C said, "Oh those are just the mice."

What do you mean, the mice?

"There've been mice up in the ceiling since the summer."

Why didn't you say something earlier?!?!?

"We thought you knew about them."

We?

"Z, N & me."

When I mentioned this to Z, she said, "Oh, yes, and this morning when I opened my closet, a mouse ran out of my knitting bag. I should have guessed that would be a place mice would like - a nice, cozy nesting material!"

How long have you had mice in your closet?

"Since last Halloween. It's a problem that I never eat my Halloween or Easter candy. Should I maybe keep it in the kitchen?"

You mean, Halloween 2006?!?!?!

"You think it's getting too old?"

Well, apparently the mice don't mind.

~Namaste

More Student Mandalas

2007-12-04T10:55:00.000-05:00

These are from last night's class. Another of the things I love about this assignment is that in general, the winning mandalas tend to be from students who are not the most vocal, popular or academically successful in the class. It's so satisfying to see students who are not as verbally skilled be able to demonstrate their understanding of the material in another way! Here are some of the entries from last night's class.

We talked about religion as a path; this student showed our study of religion as a path as well.
This is part of a larger picture; I liked the way she incorporated all three of the Abrahamic religions into the moon-and-star image.
This one was just plain lovely as well as clever. So I'm a sucker for gold & glitter!
I've never had a student knit one before! He asked his mother to teach him to knit and stitch specifically for this project.
I'm not supposed to have favorites, but I really love the notion of all the gods gathered chummily around the earth. I'd like note cards with this image!
This student had an interesting take on the yin/yang symbol.
My Buddhist student created this one. Not only scholarly, but subtle - his background is Christian, and I love the way he wove this into the design. (And okay, I can't help being a bit partial to one that uses Japanese text!)
This is painted with oil. Very striking!
My Hellenist student, a devotee of Athena, created this one, chockful of information. I think Athena would look upon this with favor.
Another of my favorites, this painting looks very much like a Dine sand painting. Isn't it lovely?
So, can you guess which ones were voted the winners by the class?

~Namaste

Students' Mandalas

2007-12-03T14:21:00.000-05:00

Here are the first set of student mandalas. These are from my online class; the students are somewhat limited in that not all of them had scanners, and they had to turn these in halfway through the semester. Still, they did some lovely work. For example, one created a tabletop mandala:

Another student was so into the project that she made two mandalas. The first is a word mandala:
While the second used geometric shapes:
There were many other wonderful mandalas in this class. I do love this project! I have not included them on the blog, however, because they were very personal.

These designs are, of course, copyright @my students.

~Namaste

November's End

2007-11-27T20:45:00.000-05:00

Arabel's Raven, by Joan Aiken, was one of those impulse choices - I saw it in the library, noted that the illustrations were by Quentin Blake, and decided N & I needed to read it. It turned out to be a real delight, and now I'm looking for the sequel, Arabel and Mortimer, for this holiday season.
Mortimer, the raven, becomes Arabel's companion through a sad accident. He quickly takes over the household and wreaks havoc in the lives of Arabel and her parents. Arabel adores Mortimer; her mother finds him exasperating; and her easygoing father reacts to Mortimer's antics with bemused calm. The improbable events already taking place in Rumbury Town become even more bizarre with the addition of this raven (N wishes me to point out that Mortimer is a good case of "perfonication" - i.e. personification), and the result was a good romp for both N and me. I recommend the book for ages 7-9 or so. (Aiken's other books, if I recall correctly, are for somewhat older readers.)

R & I have been fans of Maupin's Tales of the City since the publication of the first volume. I recently read in Neil Gaiman's blog a series of the 20 most reread books in the UK (and I was highly gratified to find Gaiman & Pratchett's Good Omens listed above the Bible - funny and ironic, if you know the subject matter). This got me thinking about which books I tend to reread, and Maupin's series falls into that category. So imagine my pleasure when Michael Tolliver Lives came out!

The title is meaningful on several levels - the first, of course, being the message to those faithful readers that yes, our beloved Michael has survived "it all." What has happened to all the other Barbary Lane friends is revealed over the course of the book, but that's not what the book is really about. It's really about Michael - and it's really about us. All the things that have happened to him have, in various ways, happened to us as well in the years since we last read about him. How life has changed him, and the insights he has gained, are the very personal love letter from Armistead Maupin to his readers. And we love him right back.

~Namaste

Starting from Scratch

2007-11-10T17:15:00.000-05:00

I've been so overwhelmed by everything that I didn't even consider blogging for a while. Yesterday I spent the whole day up at the college working on the razzin-frazzin online Chinese course I'm creating. Around mid-day I raced over to N's school for her Veterans' Day concert, planning to race back to the college to work. Well, after the concert she asked if I could take her home early (this was an option offered, but I'd been sure she wouldn't want to do it). My initial reaction was panic: "NONONO, I have to WORK!" and then I thought good grief, it's Friday, N's worked all month to get ready for this lovely program, she's so proud of her performance and she wants to spend some quality time with me. So we went home and spent time together. And today I took the whole day off from work to clean the house (I'm not going NEAR that subject!) and to help Z with more college application stuff. Just now, I thought about the blog & decided to make a stab at some catching up. I can't possibly put in all the missing book reviews & art (most of it the kids', as I've had virtually no time for mandalas, alas) in one post, so here's just a bit of it.

We just had Halloween recently, one of my favorite holidays. N created this piece of origami (she has discovered the joys of Japanese paper-folding). The added face, cheeks and limbs were her own design.
Meantime, R had an eye ailment, and in order to discover the extent of the damage, the doctor dilated the pupil. Only one pupil dilated fully made for a strange, demented look - just right for the season.

He's really a nice guy, believe me!

And now to books. I just today finished reading Stella Suberman's The Jew Store. Sounds like an offensive title, but the term was used in the south in the 1920s and 1930s (probably before and after that period as well) to refer to dry goods stores run by Jewish merchants. Suberman's father owned and ran such an establishment in a small town in Tennessee for a decade; the family was the only Jewish family in the area, and this created an interesting dynamic indeed. The book is a loving tribute not only to her parents and siblings, but also to (most of) the people of the town. Far more than this, however, it is a meticulous examination of a complex social situation that could easily have been glossed over by either sentimentality or the desire to cater to political correctness, but wasn't. I was most impressed by it.

Just before this book, I read Octavia E. Butler's Fledgling: A Novel. A couple of years ago, I read her Parable of the Sower, and every so often as I drive through our housing development I get a nightmarish flash of memory from the book, so I've honestly been putting off reading Fledgling. But, darn it, for some reason I can't seem to stay away from (good) vampire books. (Parable of the Sower, by the way, has nothing to do with vampires, but I really don't want to talk about what it's about or why it creeped me out so much - it really is the scariest book I've ever read; I hated every minute of reading and yet could not put it down.) So I finally picked it up.
I'm so glad I did! I already knew what a phenomenal writer she was; Fledgling confirms this. Butler was, as far as I know, the first African American woman to make it big in the science fiction world, and her heroine in this novel, like her other protagonists, is black. Her vampires are completely different from Stoker's or, for that matter, anyone else's, and the theme of vampirism is something fun to explore while we look at what really matter: freedom, family, sexual and racial equality - those things that Butler cared about most.

I can see why she was awarded a MacArthur Genius Grant. I just wish she had lived to spend it.

And may I say, I am not surprised at all that she was a good friend of Neil Gaiman's.

~Namaste

September Chaos

2007-09-25T12:21:00.000-05:00

I can't believe how much havoc a simple cold can wreak with one's daily life. It's been three weeks now that the whole household has been suffering from a particularly virulent head cold. R, Z, N and I have been sludging our way through each day, hanging on until we can fall into bed again at the end of it. Pretty pathetic, eh? I started on an antibiotic 5 days ago for a secondary infection; yesterday was my first really good day. Z obtained antibiotics yesterday, so she's hoping for relief in another couple of days.

And so it goes. Hence the loooong gaps twixt posts.
I only managed one mandala again this past week, but I really like it. I based it on another of Julie Keefe's designs. It was very satisfying. I must write to thank her for her Mandala Mondays, as lately I have not had the oomph to do more than color in someone else's designs.
Reading has been my salvation, and I stayed up far later than was good for me two nights in a row reading Paul Carter's memoir, Don't Tell Mum I work on the Rigs - She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse. As he explains in a great video clip you can watch here, the title is a phrase from the 1960s, when working on an oil rig was even more dangerous than it is today, and the men who worked the rigs were accordingly even rougher than those he works with. Thus the notion that the piano playing job is more respectable than working on an oil rig.

I'm not sure that I'd want Paul Carter as a next-door neighbor - I certainly wouldn't want him as a steady influence in N's life (she's a plenty tough nut at age 7 as it is!) - but he's a pretty interesting guy, and his sense of humor is just twisted enough to make the book total escapist fare. He's also extremely intelligent, and I appreciate his take on the oil industry:

"To summarize my political opinions about oil, greed and the environment, both then and now:
-I firmly believe that when politicians aren't kissing babies they're stealing their lollipops.
-There is no oil in schoolchildren.
-Everyone in oil is a lying weasel . . . except me."

The book is not, however, a polemic against the oil industry. It's part memoir, part travelogue, part anthropological study, and just a rowdy, bawdy romp through the oil rig subculture, something completely new to me. From a bar-tending orangutan to a feud with a Brit-hating Frenchman, Carter's stories are all equally engaging. Carter doesn't have a particular gift for writing, but he's a good story-teller, with all that implies. He turns a nice phrase, too: my favorite is his comment about China, which was my experience in Taiwan when we lived there in the late 1980s, although it was not as true when we were there in 2000:

"The only thing I couldn't get used to in China was the gobbing. Everyone, and I mean everyone, hacks up a big ball of phlegm and spits it out on the street, every five minutes. Women, children, babies, monks, doddery old people who look like the next big gob could kill them - everyone has a good gob, all the time.
"Perhaps the answer to China's economic problems lies not in oil and gas exploration, but in utilizing its other natural resource: spit. It's a lot cheaper to find than hydrocarbons, all you have to do is set up millions of giant spittoons and find a way to convert the spit into some sort of industrial lubricant. They could spend the money on driving lessons for everyone, because when the locals aren't gobbing all over the place they are driving around like Stevie Wonder. (In China I came frighteningly close to getting flattened by anything from kids on rollerskates to rickshaws and semis, but that's possibly because I was too busy trying not to step in all the gobs.)"

Okay, so it sounds like Dave Barry guest appearing on South Park, but having BTDT, I had to admit that it was only slightly exaggerated.

Z & I have noticed that there's rather a lot of gobbing going on on our campus, actually. It's not a phenomenon restricted to one part of the world, alas.

Looking for something to follow up with, I picked up the Jo Soares novel off my shelf. Not sure whether I'd gotten it from a used book sale, or pbs, or where, but it felt like the right time to read it. What a hoot! Twelve Fingers: Biography of an Anarchist reminds me a bit of Woody Allen's movie "Zelig," in which Allen takes footage from old newsreels and cuts his hero, Zelig (played by Allen himself) into them, showing Zelig with Nixon, Woodrow Wilson and other real people. It also, however, reminded me of Lemony Snicket's author portraits, which always show Snicket walking out of the picture, or completely in shadow. The book features photographs of famous people "with" Dimitri, the 12-fingered, would-be assassin, but Dimitri is almost completely cut out of the picture so that only one arm is visible; or he has "just stepped out to obtain another bottle of wine"; or in one photo, only the legs are showing because the camera was wielded by a dwarf.
The humor is both understated and slapstick, if that makes any sense. It is a very funny book. Inspector Clouseau could not have been more of a klutz than Dimitri. I don't want to give anything away, so I will leave it at that.

Got to run - so many errands, so little gas. Oh - do click on the title of the post - it'll take you to a really good blog by someone else. But don't stop reading mine, please.

~Namaste

Not Nearly Enough

2007-09-16T20:46:00.000-05:00

I just finished Peter Carey's delightful Wrong About Japan, and to my dismay, there wasn't nearly enough of it! It's a great companion to Learning to Bow, and in fact I'm having Z read both of them. I'll be interested to see which she enjoys more; I'm betting on Carey's book simply because she's such a mangaphile, but I think the style of Feiler's will appeal to her more.
Anyway, Carey's book is about his brief trip to Tokyo with his 12-year-old son. Their goal: to discover the "real" Japan - not ancient wonders, but the world of anime, manga and robots. Thanks to Z, I actually knew a lot of the people, films, books and concepts described, which was a good thing because Carey takes his subject at a dead run and there's not much time for introductions. I think a rudimentary familiarity with the subculture is helpful in reading this book; some idea of "Gundam Wing" and Hiyao Miyazaki, at the very least.

The interplay between Carey and his son is the dynamic of the book, and it is lovely. As Carey learns how wrong his assumptions about Japan are, he also learns more about his son and his son's generation. Where the otaku and the visualist fit in, not only to the Japanese world but to his son's world, start to make sense to Carey and to the reader. I am sorry that I read the book as quickly as I did; it was an extremely enjoyable experience and I wish it had lasted longer. And now I want to look up more about the cultural phenomena described therein.

R & I went this evening to a lovely interfaith dinner held by the Lehigh Dialogue Center, an organization founded by Turkish Muslims. As we waited at the door in a crowd milling around, a family introduced themselves and told us, with great amusement, that their presence had been requested because the organization had desired "a Turk at every table" in order to keep things well mixed. A chicken in every pot, a Turk at every table . . . . It was the organization's fifth annual Iftar dinner, Iftar being fast-breaking, and this being Ramadan. They invited the entire Lehigh Valley community, asking only that people RSVP, and over 300 people responded.

We sat with two women who had seen the invitation in the newspaper, and a couple from Bethlehem who belong to one of the local mosques. Our table was, alas, Turk-free, but the Hijazes were fine company despite being originally from Beirut rather than Istanbul. I took along the iPod that the IT fellow at the college had loaned me for playing around with, and tested it out - I won't do anything with the recording, as I did not ask permission to record, but I will learn to edit with it tomorrow. The purpose of that was to mess around with the iPod in order to be able to use it when I have guest speakers in my classes.

I do have a pseudo-mandala to show for this week. At Dick Blick's sale I found a medium for acrylic paint that turns it into fabric paint! I tested it on a piece of old t-shirt. After it dried, I ironed it for 4 minutes as per the instructions, then threw it in the washing machine & then the dryer. What you see here is the final result of all of that. No color loss, and it's nice and soft, unlike most fabric paint, which tends to be stiff.
So, now that I know it works well, I need to decide what I'm going to do with the stuff! T-shirts are the obvious thing that comes to mind (and both N&Z have already requested some), but surely there are other good applications. Any suggestions? Or requests?

OH: the four of us watched "The Last Mimsy" yesterday. Fun! And mandalas! N was especially excited about that part of it. R appreciated the Lewis Carroll angle, and found the original story online. I'm looking forward to reading it . . . .

~Namaste

What Is SCAD?

2007-09-12T10:33:00.000-05:00

Curious about where C is right now? Click on the above link, and it will take you to the SCAD website. That's where he is, trying to get used to everything being verrry sloooow, in gentle deep-south southern fashion, which right now is driving my NewYorkCity-loving son crazy. Culture shock, indeed.
It took me two days because of interruptions, but I got another mandala done, another of Julie Keefe's lovely Mandala Mondays designs. Do visit her site & try one out! My coloring is nothing particularly spectacular, but as always, the point was in the doing, and the doing felt good! Very gradually, life is beginning to take on some semblance of balance and routine, as new classes and extra-curricular activities kick in, and the girls get used to their schedules, teachers, new surroundings and so on. I'm spending much more time in the car, but a lot of it is by myself one way, which allows me to select my own listening material, and that makes a big difference. I'll be posting reviews of audio books in the coming months, I think!

I do have a couple of books to talk about today. One is a brilliant children's book that no one should miss - 17 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do Any More by Jenny Offill, with pictures by Nancy Carpenter. Anyone who's ever been a kid should read this book. I'm serious. It's brilliant (okay, I already said that, but I mean it!). And if Ms. Offill based the
part about the beaver report on an actual experience, that teacher should be drawn & quartered. (Well, she got partial revenge - he certainly was drawn, and not very kindly, either!)
Go find this book in your library - that's where we got it. And we renewed it. And then we kept it an extra week, after taking it down to Virginia to share with N's fairy godmother, who also needed to read it. Better yet, cut Ms. Offill and Ms. Carpenter a break & buy a copy so they'll get a bit of money from all their brilliance!

Bruce Feiler, author of Abraham (which I read with great pleasure) and Walking the Bible (which I haven't yet read, but plan to), began his writing career with a wonderful book based on his year-long experience teaching English in Japan. Learning to Bow may be the most utterly satisfying book I've read all year - and if you are one of the two or three people who've been reading my blog, you'll know that I've read some pretty darned good books so far this year, so that's high praise indeed.
Feiler's experiences in Japan were very similar to my own experiences in Taiwan, with of course the obvious difference in locale. His insights into all aspects of Japanese culture, how the culture and history impact the education system and how modern Japanese educational philosophy is affecting the course of current Japanese society, make for good reading whether you're interested in education, travel, business or just your fellow human beings.

The book came out in 1991 - hey Bruce, I think it's time for you to go back & write us an updated version that includes some of the latest phenomena, most particularly students (and others) meeting in chat rooms to arrange suicides. Where does that fit into the picture?!

One of the things Feiler mentions with concern is how little downtime students - and adults - in Japan have. In fact, from the time one begins school until the time one retires, the sole exception to this is college, which is mostly play-time for Japanese students. I thought of this just this afternoon when I picked up N after school. She had begged me to sign her up for a textile-art-for-kids class at the Baum School this fall, which entails grabbing her right as school lets out & driving half an hour to the school to get there in time for it to begin.

She was excited about it this morning when she left for the bus, but when I picked her up, she was tired & cranky. "I don't wanna go, Mom!" she pouted. "But, Honey, we paid for it and they're expecting you, so let's go see what it's like. If you don't like it, you don't have to go back," I promised.

By the time we had battled our way through the traffic, she'd polished off her snack & drink and listened to more of Brian Jacques' Redwall on tape, but was no happier about the class. As I parked, she burst out, "I had school ALL DAY!!! I don't want to sit and listen to a teacher any more, I just want to go home!"

We were there, and parked, so we went in & met the teacher. The project was cool, and the teacher was nice, but N went into meltdown mode. She sat on the floor & refused to say a word. Tears coursed silently down her cheeks, but an angry frown made her look scary rather than pathetic.

I explained to the teacher that it was just going to be too much for N, with the long day and then the long drive, and apologized. Only three children had signed up & it looked as if the class would be canceled anyway, so this would be the only day they'd be holding it. N thunder-clouded her way back down the stairs, and we drove home. Once we got home, she got out her math homework & whipped through it happily in less than 3 minutes (her idea) and then went to play with her guinea pigs.

As of today, she only has one after-school activity: acrobatics. She'll come home on the bus and have 40 minutes at home before we have to drive 5 minutes to her lesson, during which she'll jump all over the place - no sitting & listening. And I think that will be enough for this year, no matter how many other things she asks to join.

~Namaste

I'm a Helicopter

2007-09-03T20:14:00.000-05:00

According to the description in the above article, I am definitely a "helicopter parent" - that is, I hover over my kids. Heaven knows, I've been trying not to, but it's just the way I am. And as a result, this past week has really been tough for me, as C has been preparing to leave for Savannah.

Oh, sure, it helped a lot that he spent all of July in New York City. That was a dry run for all of us, C included. But one of the things that those of us at home learned was that he doesn't often feel much of a need to communicate with us often, so we know what to expect once he's down south. Sigh.

So - not much time this week for mandalas, what with gathering things for C's dorm room, helping Z get her school year started, and N still on her last week of summer vacation. I did find the time for one the other day, gel pen on vellum, which I titled "Morning Energy" because that's what it gave me as I worked it:
I don't expect to have much time until next weekend to make more, but after that things should settle down to a dull roar, I hope.

I have, however, finished three books recently. The first and most notable is Erik Larson's Thunderstruck.
What did Marconi's invention of the radio and Crippen's brutal crime have to do with each other? Actually there is a significant historical link. With remarkable, painstaking research, Larson weaves the many strands of these two stories, until, slowly but surely, they form one whole picture of a period about which I had previously known very little.

This is an amazing work. In places it is a bit heavy-going, but I found my time well spent, as Larson has a reason for every minute detail he includes. The race to perfect wireless communication makes for a fascinating read; and after the few hints about him, I am anxious to read a biography of Tesla.

I think you need to have some interest in the history of science & technology to fully appreciate the book, but if you do, you will find it great entertainment indeed.
This is the second in the Mobile Library series, and it's every bit as wonderful as The Case of the Missing Books, the first of Ian Sansom's marvelous books about Israel Armstrong. Poor Israel - he arrives in Tumdrum, Ireland, and first he discovers that all of the books in his library have gone AWOL and that his first job is to find them all. Now in this second book, he is accused of robbing and kidnapping the head of the local department store, and in order to clear his name, he sets out to find Mr. Dixon himself.

All I can say is that these books are brilliantly funny, and that anyone who doesn't fall a little bit in love with Israel Armstrong must be an old grouch.
I had mixed feelings about Ron Hansen's Mariette in Ecstasy. I expected to love it, and instead I found the style choppy and annoying after a while. I understand the reason he wrote it that way - it is divided according to days and periods of convent time, as it is set in a convent in 1906. But after about 40 pages, the style grated on my nerves.

The book does, however, contain one of the most beautiful descriptions of a mystical experience that I have ever come across. It is almost impossible to describe something like that in words - the mystical is, by nature, ineffable. And Hansen's ability to write as a 17-year-old postulant is quite admirable. But.

I've just started Paolo Coelho's The Devil and Miss Prym. I teach at 8 tomorrow morning, after getting N ready for her first day of first grade. I think I will retire with the Coelho now.

~Namaste

Back in the Saddle Again

2007-08-26T20:58:00.000-05:00

Ah, it really felt good this evening to make a mandala! I had intended to work up a design that I'd had in mind for the next painting, but my subconscious had its own plan, apparently, as what came out was something else altogether:
I like it very much, but it's not really what I want for the next big painting project. There are too many shapes - reflecting, I think, the fact that I've got more going on right now than I can handle!

While I was working on it, N was busy with her latest work - bookmaking. No, not taking bets; she's making lots & lots of tiny (as in 1/2" to 1" long) notebooks, illustrated on the outside. Very cute, and handy for making short lists. Here's one she made me for tomorrow:
I think she's now made about 20 of them, and they're all taped up on a large, colorful display in the kitchen.

Meantime, here are the last few of Z's works from her summer drawing class. She's gotten very accomplished at drawing hands, which anyone who draws will tell you are wretched hard to capture:
and this is a cute picture of our guinea pigs:
But here is a typical Z masterpiece - one of her fantasy drawings, just made up from her imagination. As with her portrait of her birthparents, it's done in colored pencils - she gets such rich effects with pencils it amazes me.
Needless to say, Z got an A in her drawing class.

Tomorrow Z & I begin classes at the community college. Z's very excited. She's taking Intro. to Psychology, which will give her a good idea of whether or not she's on the right track in planning to go into Art Therapy; Chinese; 2-D Design; and Figure Drawing. That's a lot for a high school senior, but I think she will handle it just fine.

I am sad to see my summer end. I don't feel as jangled as I did at the end of last summer; this has been a good summer, as I've really fed my soul for the first time in years. It's time to look back on my "49 Project," I think. I didn't do 49 mandalas, but I did focus on art and mandalas for 49 days straight, and that was spiritually very nourishing.

The most important thing I learned was how soothing it is to spend time in the right side of my brain, and how easy it is to slip into it by picking up a piece of paper and a couple of colored pencils or gel pens. And you know, in the beginning it wasn't easy at all! I'd sit and stare at the paper for a long time before I could get started, and I was very critical of myself. Now I can sit down and just begin - well, most times.

A few days ago, R said in a frustrated voice, "I never spend any time doing anything creative, and I really need to!" I've been telling him this for a while, but I think he needed to see me doing it regularly for it to sink in. So this evening when I sat down to make a mandala, and the girls joined me, he came to the table and began folding origami shapes with us. I can't recommend the concept of a "family art night" enough. It's a great way for families with wide age ranges to do things in tandem.

For the next 3 weeks or so, as we all adjust to changes (new semester for me, 1st grade for N, college for S, and C's absence in Georgia for all of us), I will just keep making mandalas as often as possible. But once we're all settled into a routine, I'm hoping to put together some kind of plan. I did promise K's guides I'd come up with a 2-year plan, after all, and that was three months ago.

I suppose if I'm going to teach tomorrow, I'd better get some sleep.

Oh, click on the title for a link to a very entertaining blog. The writer is my new heroine.

~Namaste

The Best Movie of the Summer!

2007-08-25T19:38:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know, this isn't a movie review blog, but I can't help it - you have got to go see "Death at a Funeral"!!! While down in Virginia visiting S, I had the great good fortune to see it, and I can't say enough good things about it! Alan Tudyk (the pilot of "Firefly") is just one of the many wonderful actors that make this a highly successful film. Click on the subject line and check out the website. Better yet, go see it when it comes to your city (alas, for some bizarre reason it's only showing in 200 cities across the US).

And yes, it's even better than "Stardust." Whodathunk?

I've got a lot of catching up to do tonight, now that I'm finally almost ready for classes to start on Monday. I'll start with the last two projects from my painting class, one that I am very happy with: the one my teacher, Ro, called our "loosey-goosey" portrait. She told us to do anything we wanted, incorporating elements besides paint if we wished. I began with a bindu, of course, which at first I intended as a bindi - nice little pun, only it turned into the nose instead.
As you can see, the face became an yin/yang symbol, and the yin/yang shapes kept appearing in other places in the design. It turned into a painting for N, which I called "I Will Meet You In Your Dreams," something that I often say to her at night. The face has a bindi after all, and there are mini mandalas in the painting, as well as the Chinese symbol for breath, the Hebrew letter "chai" (for life) and the Sanskrit "aum."

One of my classmates said that all of my painting is "fluffy," a characterization I didn't much appreciate until she told me she meant it was calming, which is a good thing - this one in particular I intended to be tranquil and reassuring. She said my paintings seem like they'd be good illustrations for children's books. Hm. That's okay, but fluffy? That I don't like.

Here, just to show you that I'm modest, is the portrait. I don't like it. One of my classmates exclaimed "Ooo, it's just like a china doll!" and I agree - no life to it at all, though I am not sure that's what she meant, exactly. I didn't enjoy doing it at all. I learned quite a lot, and it's better than I thought I could do, but I don't expect to do any more portraits, and that's a huge relief. All the others were fun to a certain extent, but this one was just onerous work.
Glad it's over.

I got an A in the class. I learned a lot, and for the most part it really was fun. I don't plan to take any courses this fall; I do plan to paint more, though! The thought of giving "my" paints to Z for her 2-D Design class is painful, but we can share. She shared her brushes with me, after all!

And now on to books. Peggy Orenstein's Waiting for Daisy was the next on my list from Elle. I read it in two sittings, not because it was such a fast read, but because I couldn't stop reading it. Orenstein is a very good writer, and her story is compelling - but that's only part of the reason. Her story is also, in part, my own story, and she wrote about things I hadn't thought about for many years.
Orenstein's book is about a lot of things, including infertility and what the quest for a child can do to a couple. Her descriptions of taking her temperature, keeping ovulation charts, talking to doctors, dealing with the INS - all of that evoked in me emotions I had not felt since I finally became a mother.

Of course, the title rather gives the ending away, but there is much more to this book than even the long subtitle would suggest (Waiting for Daisy: A Tale of Two Continents, Three Religions, Five Fertility Doctors, An Oscar, An Atomic Bomb, A Romantic Night, and One Woman's Quest to Become a Mother). Orenstein's honesty captured me from the start; I felt she was speaking directly to me, woman to woman. Her last chapter alone is worth the price of the book, and should be required reading for every infertile couple and every infertility doctor.

Too much thunder & lightning; have to shut down the computer for now. Go read the book. It's not just for people with infertility issues - it's a damned good story.

~Namaste

AAAARRRRGH!

2007-08-22T13:02:00.000-05:00

I'll be back again shortly - we went down to Virginia for a few days, and now I am paying for it, i.e. trying to get ready for the new semester that begins in just a few days. I've finished my syllabi, so only another few hours and I will be able to relax by uploading the mandalas I've done (and do another one, I hope). Stay tuned . . .

~Namaste

Post #61

2007-08-13T19:49:00.000-05:00

And that's about how old I feel right now. Spent almost all day driving to, walking around, and driving home from Marywood U., which is in lovely (NOT) Scranton, PA. Z loved the place - moi, I felt it was not the most attractive campus I'd ever seen, and there was just something that didn't feel quite right about it to me. But we're looking for a campus for her, not for me, so I guess it's not my call. :-P

Anyway, the rest of the day passed in frantic phone calls to SCAD (for C), to LCCC (for Z), to a couple of other moms to discuss synchronized swimming team arrangements (for N), getting dentist appts. for all three kids before school starts. And then frenzied prep. for my fall syllabi.

And now it's time to put N to bed and then grade final exams like a fiend, as the grades are due by Wed. morning at 10. So far today, no mandala time at all, and I'm feeling quite jangled as a result. But I do have something for you to look at: Z finished her final project for Drawing I over the weekend, a 14x18 colored pencil drawing of her birthparents. The photo does not do it justice - IRL it is not blurred at all, and the photo has foreshortened their features considerably. It actually looks more like pastel than pencil. Very lovely.

The original looks so much like Z that her classmates asked if that was her boyfriend in the picture! So now she knows that it's not just me who thinks she looks just like her birthmother.
~Namaste

Postsecret

2007-08-12T21:24:00.000-05:00

So this makes, what, three posts from me in one day? I can't help it, I have to link to this before I forget it: Postsecret has a very moving video that is worth a look.

And now I'm going to bed to read more of the next book on my Elle list.

~Namaste

"Syzygy"

2007-08-12T16:58:00.002-05:00

It's done. And I have to say, it's rather a let-down. After working on it for 30-40 hours, I feel a sense of loss, because it is finished and I don't have time this coming week to begin the new mondo-dala that I began thinking about two days ago (I'm going to use the 24"x24" canvas I've already got, but turn it so it's a diamond). It just feels weird not to be in the middle of a huge mandala project. Naytheless, it means I can get back to doing small daily mandalas again, which will be nice.

I call it "Syzygy," and if you look closely at the stars in the bindu you will see a syzygy there - three heavenly bodies in alignment.
I'd fully intended to have a ring of stylized clouds in the color modulated outer rings, in honor of Georgia O'Keeffe's "Sky Above Clouds IV," which I love. But once the modulation rings were done, I was convinced that the clouds just wouldn't look right. The mandala seemed done, so I stopped (after a whole lot of tweaking).

I wish there were a way to show you online just how huge an accomplishment this feels like.

Almost every single day now for 44 days I have worked on mandalas or learning techniques to apply to mandalas. I need to take some time to reflect on how that has changed me, but I will say one thing immediately: it has become a habit and a need. Does this equate to an addiction? Of that I am unsure.

~Namaste

Penultimate Day!

2007-08-12T12:07:00.000-05:00

I have got to finish my mondo-dala by the time I hit the sack tonight, even though it isn't due in class until Thursday at 6. I simply have too many things to do next week to have time for painting, and then we're leaving for VA by 6 am Friday, in order to get there to watch the visiting Tibetan monks creating a sand mandala (yippee!).

I've been painting steadily every day; the greatest obstacle I have faced has been my indecision over colors and design past the green rings.
As you can see, I did figure out what to do - Z suggested that pink would go well with the green "leaf" color, & she was right! I decided on the water and then sand colors to go with the pearls, which have been part of the design for a while now (many thanks to C & Z as consultants on how to paint pearls!). And then I dithered forever, while doing other things, over the penultimate ring.

Now I know, so after a trip to AC Moore to get more white paint (man, do I ever go through a lot of that!), I am about ready to set up to finish. I hope I can get done before midnight.

I've also been reading like crazy to read all the Elle books by Sept. 4, and have only two left. I got through Meredith Hall's Without A Map pretty quickly, and I have to say it was a big relief to finish it. She is for the most part a good writer, but her choppy, inconsistent style is very frustrating and at times confusing; one moment she is living in Boston with her boyfriend, the next she's walking alone down a dusty road in Nebraska with no explanation of how or why she got there, and then on the next page she's back with her boyfriend again and they've bought a fishing boat and there is a sketchy explanation of how that came about.

Guiltily, I also have to admit that it was a relief to stop reading about such a very sad life intertwined with so many other sad lives. After a while, it just became an overload and I couldn't take in any more. Which was too bad, because there were some very nice bits of writing in this book.

~Namaste

Kabul Beauty School

2007-08-09T20:48:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading Deborah Rodriguez's stunning book Kabul Beauty School. If it weren't for Elle Magazine, I might have missed this one, and I would be the poorer for it. Rodriguez's stories of the women - and men - she worked with in Afghanistan, as well as her own transformative journey, are so compelling that I resented anything that took me away from my reading. I honestly never thought I'd be particularly interested in anything related to cosmetics or hair styling, but I have a completely different attitude toward the subject as a result of reading this book. Buy it, read it, support her work.

Z & I went this evening to hear Anna Quindlen speak. She was wonderful, of course. She spoke about reading. She mentioned (in passing) her friendship with Calvin Trillin, and afterwards someone asked her if he was as funny in person as in print. She said yes, absolutely, but that more than anything, he is the kindest person she has ever known. Which pretty much tallies with what my father has said about him. Anyway, it was great, and Z & I were both very glad we had gone.

This is a short post because I am very tired. Another seven hours (or so) in interrupted sessions have resulted in the following expansion of The Mandala, as I have come to think of it.
~Namaste

Not quite giving up just yet . . .

2007-08-07T15:15:00.000-05:00

. . . but darned close to it. I've been working on this:
which, in case you've forgotten (I sure haven't) is 30" x 30". Here's a close-up of what took me five hours to complete, and that doesn't count the underpainting of the entire canvas (which was actually fairly quick, about 1/2 hour).
Nor does it count the measuring. Either time. I could not find our yardstick anywhere, so I did one of my usual convoluted measurings which always work when I'm sewing. I've been sewing since I was a teenager, which is what - about 33 years now? - so I've gotten pretty good at sloppy-eyeballing-seatofthepantsing. Unfortunately, this doesn't work very well with geometry (a subject I never actually took in high school and just sort of fake my way around). I have been known to use whatever comes to hand, and it seemed at the time that the raggedy little measuring tape ought to be just fine . . . .

Yet after I'd done a lovely crescent moon, silver and lavendar highlights & all, I discovered that it was nowhere near the center of the canvas.

And okay, my estimate of five hours doesn't count the time I spent saying all sorts of bad words, which it was okay for me to say because only C, who is 20 and has heard lots worse from his friends (well, maybe not), was in the room at the time. The girls were elsewhere (not that they haven't heard at least a few of those words from me in other times of stress, alas).

So you see, sometimes making mandalas is not quite as stress-busting as it's cracked up to be.

Anyway, I remeasured, this time using the measuring tape to mark off distance on a rigid wooden rod I'd found in R's lab. I measured FOUR TIMES just to make sure, and came out around the same place each time, so I decided that was close enough. I painted a new moon, and then made dinner.

This morning when I came downstairs, R had very cleverly used two long pieces of string stretched diagonally to show me where the center was . . . about a centimeter away from where I'd measured it. Conveniently, no one else was around, so I chanted a few more choice mantras and then traced the strings as guidelines before removing them. I did not repaint the moon this time; I think I can fudge things enough to make it all come out all right.

I simply remind myself that this is still a learning process. Life itself is a learning process. If I'd wanted this to be geometrically perfect, I'd be learning computer art rather than painting by hand, right?

I should mention that next to the moon, in the center, it will eventually be dark purply-blue with silver stars, but not till the rest of the thing is done, because I have to see the center dot so I can draw the rest of the circles. Why not draw the circles now? Because I am still revising/redesigning as I go. Anyway, I'll show you more as I paint more.

Given the other things I had to do today, and the fact that I still need to feed everyone and leave for class soon, I don't see how I can keep doing mandalas every day. I will either need to count my daily work on this mondo-dala as one of my mandalas, or I'll need to extend the 49-day period. I'd appreciate comments/votes/suggestions, please!!!

Tomorrow morning Z&I are heading over to Cedar Crest College to find out about their art therapy program, so I won't be painting till the afternoon. But maybe I will paint more tonight. This must be finished by next Thurs. night's class. Ack!

~Namaste

Painting

2007-08-05T17:02:00.000-05:00

I finished my landscape painting today, with help from Z and no help from Ro. I guess Ro feels landscapes are so simple to do that she doesn't need to give us many pointers, because she pretty much left us on our own with this. I did my best with it, and I did tackle a very difficult scene; but I am definitely ready to move on! Here it is:
I worked up two more mandalas today, after taking N&Z to the pool. I had no idea where I was going with this one - I took out some pale pink paper (because I am running out of the other colors - pink isn't usually a favorite color of mine to work with) and just started in on it. The end result was a surprise, and I like it.
Then I did some back stretches, and while doing them I got the idea for this mandala. What I pictured was grass around the outer rim, a circle of little animals and plants, and the inner circle just sky. It came out almost precisely the way I'd envisioned it, although the rabbits were hard to execute. I'm not very good at rabbits. It makes me think of spring, so that's what I called it.

Just one more mandala today, and I will be caught up at last. Which is good, because I have a lot of other things that need my attention as well!

~Namaste

Look Me In The Eye

2007-08-04T21:52:00.000-05:00

How wonderful it is to be a reader for Elle magazine! I got my advance reader's copy of Look Me In The Eye! my life with asperger's by John Elder Robison two days ago, and devoured it at once. It was touted as "darkly funny," but what it actually was was highly informative and extremely touching. The chapters on struggling to handle small talk and finding a way to have a successful marriage were the absolute best.

In case you didn't know, Asperger's is a form of autism. I know a couple of people with Asperger's, and interpersonal relations is the toughest part of the syndrome. My view is that autism is a wide spectrum, and there are many people who are viewed as "normal but weird" who have a touch of it.

Of course, none of us is simply the product of our DNA. How much of Robison's personality may be chalked up to his Asperger's and how much to his abusive, dysfunctional parents is something I wondered about as I read his memoir. Some elements were obvious, others less so.

I feel positively privileged to have read this book. Now I want to read Running with Scissors, by Augusten Burroughs - Robison's brother. For a little more insight into Robison, you can click on the above link and read his blog.

In addition to reading today, and working on my landscape (about which I don't feel too good right now, alas), I spent time on mandalas, hurray! I mostly played with media again. I did a slightly better flower mandala, beginning with carnation petals from N's flower cake. I need to find that website with flower art that my mother sent me a while ago, though - surely there are more interesting things to do with these dried petals? I tried making little rabbits in the outer ring; I think I was marginally successful.
The second mandala is one of Julie Keefe's Mandala Mondays designs, again on vellum. I liked the filigree pattern, and I am trying to color more yantras in the hope of some day getting the hang of them enough to recreate one myself. (I tried making one from scratch yesterday, but after three attempts I gave up in frustration.)
The third and fourth mandalas were practice using a white pencil to add "light" to a design. My cousin E just had surgery, so I wanted to make her a mandala card to wish her a good healing. Adding to the blues I tried white, and I was really pleased at how the white brought a sort of luminous quality to the vellum, much as it does to the black paper in Judith Cornell's lessons.
Then I worked one more mandala on vellum using the same principle, but this time playing with shapes and color changes, just for fun. I used a lot of white - if you click on it and open it in another window to enlarge it, you can see just how much.
And now I'm really tired, and I'm heading for bed. Maybe tomorrow I can get caught up as well as finish my landscape. And then I will begin my huge mandala, which will take a couple of weeks to finish!

This, I believe, makes 33, and this is day 36. So I am gradually catching up.

~Namaste

Book 15 at Last

2007-08-03T09:03:00.000-05:00

It's taken me some time, but I have finally caught up to everyone else and, thanks to the Parkland Community Library, I have finished The Harlequin, book 15 in Laurell K. Hamilton's vampire series. Some of the books were more enjoyable than others (the covers were all uniformly awful), but I stuck to the series doggedly because the universe she created was so fascinating. I'm glad I did stick with it, because with The Harlequin, she seems to have returned to her earlier story-telling mode, and the story is a good one. I haven't yet spent any money on the books, as all the others have come from paperbackswap, and I don't intend to buy any in the future, but I will probably continue to read them as she writes them.

Two other books I want to mention this morning are indy graphic novels. The first, by Scott Mills (of Little Clay Pot, which I reviewed in an earlier post), is Trenches.
It's the story of two brothers in WWI. A bit formulaic, the book is nevertheless a good introduction to the horrors of WWI for those unfamiliar with it, and I am a fan of Mills' artwork. I liked Clay Pot much better, though. It's another offering from Top Shelf Productions.

Far more impressive is Jane Irwin's Vogelein: Clockwork Faerie, to which I understand there will be a MOST welcome sequel this summer! The heroine of the book is a tiny, 300-year-old clockwork fairy, whose latest master has just died. She is searching for a new master, since she must be wound up every day in order to continue to survive. Yet there is a spark of magic about her, as you will discover if you read the book.
This is one of the most original, magical graphic novels I have read in a very long time, and I recommend it highly. Irwin poses the Frankenstein question in a new light, and her addition of the Fay creature Ezrael, trapped in the human world and unable to return to Tir na nog, enriches the story even more.

~Namaste

Revealing Oneself in Mandalas

2007-08-03T08:40:00.000-05:00

Jung, as I may have mentioned in an earlier post, believed that our mandalas reveal a great deal about our feelings at the time we draw them. (Click on the title link for more information on Jung and mandalas.)

When I sat down yesterday late afternoon to make a mandala, I was tired and I had no idea where I wanted to go with one. All I knew was that it had been two days since my last mandala & I craved some mandala time. I pulled out the new pencils I'd bought (more on those, below) and shifted quickly and completely into my right brain. No music, no audio books, and no one else around - just the media and my subconscious. Perhaps that sounds a little flaky, but that's what it was, because I wasn't thinking about anything consciously at all.

I immediately went for the red and orange pencils, and after drawing a swirling bindu with a few sparks of yellow, I picked up the black pencil. I found myself pulling out some random swirls around it until I got to the edge of the circle. Then I grabbed the red pencils again and worked my way outward. But - how terribly frustrating! Every time I really got going with the red pencil, I hit one of the black marks, and had to detour around it, or even got stopped completely by one and had to turn around and go back again.
It was like a maze with a lot of obstacles, and it was THE most annoying mandala I have ever drawn. To top it all off, I then had to go back and rework those same passages with the orange and yellow, and I almost didn't make it through.

When I finished, trailing my way out, I was exhausted. The whole thing only took about 15-20 minutes to complete, but it was very draining. I had a long drink of water and sat back to think about it.

That was when I discovered what it was all about. For the past week I've felt frustrated at every turn. I have several projects going, and I haven't had the time to devote to any of them because of all the other daily aggravations that have intruded. Sleep deprivation has exacerbated the situation, and yesterday afternoon it all came to a head. I felt like a volcano about to blow its top.

So I decided to stay home from painting class last night. C&Z promised to help me finish the landscape that we'd be working on in class, and R said he'd take N to the pool and then put her to bed. I fell asleep about 6:30 pm, roused enough at 8:30 to cuddle N a bit, and did not get up till 7 this morning. I feel like a new person.

Let's hear it for the insight of mandalas.

As to the new pencils: they are conte crayon pencils, which I found at Dick Blick the other day. I'd never heard of them & thought I'd get a few to try. Z draws in conte crayon a lot. They are quite soft, and almost like drawing with chalk, producing a lot of dust - well, I suppose they are like conte crayons only with a fine point. Interesting. They'll take a lot of getting used to. I'll have to get Z to teach me to use them, I think.

~Namaste

Mostly pictures

2007-08-01T17:48:00.000-05:00

I've been pressed for time this past week, what with the still-life to tackle on my own, and trying to get a handle on the many other projects of the summer. To be quite honest, I am feeling pretty discouraged about how little of the summer is left and how many things people are depending on me to do, and this is making it very hard for me to maintain my resolve to complete both the painting course and the 49 Project - because, after all, those are just for me, which means there's a little voice somewhere slyly suggesting that that makes them far less vital than all the other things on my plate.

I'm trying my best to ignore that voice.

Anyway, from most recent (last night) working backwards, here are some pictures. I've got my very rough study done for the final painting project. It will be a mandala 30"x30" - monumentally scary in size (to create, not, I hope, to view!). Pay no attention to the stuff around the outside of the circle; the outer edges will be some neutral color, probably pale blue. I already don't like most of the colors I played around with, & will change them:
but anyway, this gives you the basic idea.

Next up is a funny little robotic face - that wasn't what it started out as, but that's just how it ended up. Just for fun.
And this is the still life I set up:
And this is how it turned out:
I chose things that, for the most part, I had brought home from my travels, with the exception of the little black pot (though I brought that from Kentucky) and the blue vase, which I think my brother gave me. The egg is an ostrich egg, which is why it's so huge. N kept rearranging things, which made it a bit difficult, and I ended up doing a marathon painting session on Saturday to keep from having the whole thing changed completely out from under me. :-/ (She didn't like the composition.)

The last thing I painted was the pot, and somehow it went all van Gogh on me, but I really like it. Some day I'd like to do a whole van Gogh-ish painting just because.

I'm going to finish up for tonight with some of Z's latest drawings. They're quite good. I have to get N to bed and get to bed early myself, so I will just post them and sign off. Enjoy.

Just FYI: she did the drawings in art class, and they're of a model, not of me. In case you were wondering. I am neither that young nor that shapely!

~Namaste

Like the butcher who backed into his meat grinder

2007-07-27T22:13:00.000-05:00

I have gotten a little behind in my work. Not only am I a couple of days shy of my quota, but I haven't posted the mandalas I have done - it's been almost a week since I last had the time to write. My painting class, while exhilirating, has been very time-consuming. In addition, I've had a lot of paperwork for C's upcoming year in Savannah and Z's planned homeschooling/community college year.

N, meanwhile, has wanted to read as much as possible for the local library's reading program, so we've been busy with that as well. In addition to reading library books, this week we've revisited our shelf of "very favorite authors" in our home library, and it occurs to me that I haven't mentioned this, so I thought I'd talk about it this evening before moving on to mandalas.

I consider myself a bibliophile - perhaps even a bibliomaniac. Yes, we patronize the library heavily! but books are the gift of choice in both my and my husband's extended families. One of the many things we love about our house is the room that I suppose was intended as a livingroom but which we use as a library.

One long shelf contains children's books by our family's three favorite authors. The first, Daniel Pinkwater, I have enthused about before on this blog (see my entry on his latest novel, The Neddiad, from a month or two ago). Currently, N & I are rereading his Werewolf Club series, of which we own only one (the library has all the others, so we only needed to buy the one the library lacks). He has read several of his own books on tape (both children's and adult books); if you ever get a chance to hear him read, I highly recommend it, as his reading is full of very dry, droll humor that both kids and grownups appreciate.

When C was in 3rd or 4th grade, he wrote to some of his favorite authors, including Pinkwater. Almost all of them responded. He still has the postcard from Pinkwater, with a lovely self-portrait sketch and sweet personal note, and treasures it greatly.

The second author on the shelf is James Stevenson. Like Pinkwater, he illustrates his own books. The humor is somewhat different, drier and with a little sharper tang to it, but they have a lot in common under the skin. We first got to know him through his "Grandpa and Wainey" books, and when C wrote to Stevenson it was to ask if Grandpa was modeled after Stevenson's own grandfather, or after Stevenson himself, or just made up. Stevenson responded with an original drawing of Grandpa and the words "Grandpa is . . . just Grandpa!" The letter is stored in a plastic sleeve next to Pinkwater's. I think it says a lot about a person when (s)he takes the time to write to a child.

Anyway, Stevenson has several other series, including one about a little witch named Emma (beleaguered by two mean, older witches), another about the inhabitants of Mud Flats, and my special favorite series, the ones about The Worst Person In The World - a mean old man who cultivates poison ivy and is rotten to everyone. While I would have a hard time limiting myself to just one of these, I think the absolute best in the series is The Worst Person in the World at Crab Beach. The humor is so dry you're thirsty by the third page, but if you read it slowly and deliberately, with the right amount of sarcasm, kids pick up on almost all the jokes, although grownups appreciate them, too. And the ending is just lovely. I don't mean to make it sound mean-spirited, because it isn't at all! For a mean old grouch, he's quite lovable, and he doesn't teach children to be rotten. Anyway, for information on Stevenson, click on the title link.

The third author on our very favorites shelf is Demi. We love her in part for the many Chinese legends she brings to life, and for the legends, myths and biographies from other countries and religions that she tells. But most of all, we adore her gorgeous, stunning illustrations. She paints tiny, detailed people, animals and plants with such luminous and glowing colors that even very young children with relatively short attention spans just want to sit and stare at the pictures. I have never seen an illustrator to rival her, ever. Neither C nor Z ever wrote to her, simply because we never could find an address. It was only recently that I was able to track down her full name; for a long time the publisher was very secretive about that! Perhaps when N is a bit older she will want to write to Demi, as she is quite taken with her books.

I don't even remember any more which mandala came when, except for the most recent of all. So the first one I will post here is one I am counting even though it is not strictly a mandala - well, it's not round, anyway. It was an assignment for painting class - we were to do a modulated background with an object floating in it. I chose to paint my bobbing buddha, without his spring. I had to draw the buddha 10-15 times on paper before I felt comfortable trying to paint him, but it really did help to do that, so I'm glad I did.
The gold fans in the background were made by a fan brush. Z showed me how to do that. Everyone in the class was wowed by that use of a fan brush, & then I had to admit that that is the only way I know how to use a fan brush - apparently there is some other use for them! The canvas is 11x14.

I bought a vellum pad the other day, as I so much enjoyed using the small pieces of vellum for those chakra mini-mandalas at the beginning of the month. Onto one piece I glued some of the flowers N & I had pressed earlier this summer: Queen Anne's Lace in the center, surrounded by thistle, a ring of lavender and then some tiny daffodils and assorted other tidbits. I backed it with pale yellow paper, but that did not really come through in the photo.
I'm going to have to play around with flowers some more - this is kind of pretty, but rather uninspired. I think there's a lot more that could be done with flowers. My problem is that I'm too engrossed in the realm of paint right now. (But oh! the box in which the dried flowers are kept smells very nice!)

I said I'd post what N had been working on last time while I was mandala-ing. I gave her free rein with the glitter and glue, and much to my surprise and pleasure, she was extremely careful and didn't make nearly as much of a mess as I had feared. Here are her three creations - I think the second or third one would be fun to make into something with different fabrics, a sort of quilted piece to hang on the wall, some time when I am not in the middle of a painting class!
This next picture does not count as a mandala, either, but given how many hours and how much energy I spent on it, how VERY much I learned from doing it, the fact that I never thought I could do anything remotely approaching something like this, and the fact that it kept me from working on mandalas, I'm giving myself credit for a mandala with this. Since one of my primary reasons for creating mandalas is that the act of creation is a form of meditation for me, and the act of painting puts me in pretty much the same space, that doesn't feel like cheating.
I felt very self-conscious about this painting, esp. knowing that most of the other students in the class had taken painting and/or drawing courses before, and that most of them were art majors. But then when all the paintings were set up across the room from us, and I got to compare mine to everyone else's, I saw that mine really wasn't half bad - and that there were actually some that were not as good as mine! By the way, the distortions you see (the celadon vase and the cream pitcher being skewed) are artifacts of the photo - I couldn't get far enough away to take the picture & have it be straight. I actually didn't paint them crooked.

It's not masterful, but WOW! I learned a LOT!

Finally, another mandala on vellum. This was this week's "Mandala Monday." I took the design and placed it underneath the vellum, then colored it. Vellum is a little tricky to work on, in that gel pens don't stick well to it, so you have to color over with them a few times, and colored pencil must be pressed fairly hard - which makes shading a little difficult. But the translucence makes it all worthwhile. Whether it is backed with colored paper, or just left on its own (as in this mandala), it is so delicate that it positively glows, and I just love it! There is no metallic pen or pencil on this one, just the shading working with the vellum. Nice, eh?
So, as of 21 I was caught up. With these today, I make it 25. As of tomorrow morning, I will be three behind, which is do-able. I have a HUGE assignment this weekend for painting: another still-life, 18x24, as well as the complete plan for my final project, a mandala 24x24! I figure I will be painting that still-life all weekend in order to finish; the one above, also 18x24, took about 10 hours in 3 sessions. Oy. Vay, even.

~Namaste

Not About Harry Potter Post

2007-07-21T17:45:00.000-05:00

Yes, Z went to the party at Borders and C went to one of the many parties at bookstores on Union Square last night. Yes, we went this morning bright & early and picked up the book and the audio. Yes, Z's had her nose in the book all day and we listened to the tape all the way home.

But this post has nothing to do with that. I did something magical of my own today. I painted a mandala for the first time! Well, I've done watercolor mandalas, but never an acrylic one, and this is precisely what I've been taking this course to learn how to do! Today's was a simple one, though it took me nearly four hours. By the time I was finished, I felt pretty comfortable with some of the techniques I'd been practicing, and I am very happy with the result.
I have been reading about the root chakra, so I made a simple root chakra design after a happy discovery of a pad of canvas paper in the basement. I began by scrumbling yellow and ochre, then drew on the design when it was dry. I didn't really plan the colors; I just knew that I wanted to use predominantly reds, the color of the root chakra. Yet the blue sky seemed to want to be there on the perimeter, so I put it there, and the night sky appeared on the inside of the circle as well.

The little gold strokes in the background were made with a fan brush. Z taught me to do that - isn't it cool?

If you click for a close-up, you will see that I tried to give some texture to the gold square in the center. I'm not too practiced at this yet, but I liked the result. I plan to take the painting along to the next class to ask Ro for some pointers.

For our final project in the painting class, we're to choose an artist to study and emulate, and then do something of our own in that artist's style. I'd planned to do Rousseau, as I love his lush jungles, but I think I may do Georgia O'Keefe - the lotus petals of this chakra remind me a little of one of her flowers, and since I'm going to do a mandala for my final, I'm thinking a really wild challenge would be to do the whole thing emulating her flower style, if I can pull it off. I've been working hard on color modulation with colored pencils for the past couple of months, and now am struggling with it in acrylics, so O'Keefe is a natural one to study.

I'll have to show you N's creations tomorrow, however, as the battery on my camera has just run down and I can't upload any more this evening.

~Namaste

20 of 49

2007-07-20T13:59:00.001-05:00

It's day 20 of Project 49, and here is my 20th mandala:
The colors, which aren't reproduced too well here, are blues, black and silver, with an occasional touch of red. (I find myself using red and orange in almost every mandala now. Color theory/psychology is another direction my reading will have to take at some point . . . .)

Z&I were listening to Daniel Pinkwater's Chicago Nights, Hoboken Days on tape (read by the author) while doing art today. We originally listened to the recording years ago with C&Z during family art nights, so I associate it with those times; but now, with two kids about to head off to college majoring in the arts, hearing Pinkwater's adventures as an art student in college was all the more meaningful.

I didn't have any special plans when I started this mandala; a piece of wood sitting on the table caught my eye, so I started by tracing the end of it twice just as something to do in the center. But as my doodles took form, I realized that my current reading was influencing my direction, and I ended up making a series of spinning wheels. I'm reading Anodea Judith's Wheels of Life, an introduction to chakra theory recommended by my cousin (thanks, K!). I'll blog about it another, time, though, as I need to head off to pick up N from Camp Gan Israel (have to blog about that some time as well - that's been an interesting and very positive experience for her).

~Namaste

The Process

2007-07-20T09:25:00.000-05:00

Every so often, a mandala creates itself. This happened Wednesday-Thursday when, after fashioning the bindu (center) precisely the way I intended it, my pen burped up a huge gold blot and "ruined" everything.

I just sat there, staring at the mess for a few seconds, then ran for a paper towel and tried carefully soaking up as much of the liquid as possible. Once the puddling was absorbed, what was left was a perfect circle of gold, just at the right corner of the bindu.

Hm.

So I made another circle opposite this one, at the left corner. And then I just let the mandala sort of take over from there. I got as far as the lotus circle (the nesting circle of pink, black and gold petals) and left it for the night.
In the morning, it finished itself easily without any conscious help from me.

Ro, my painting teacher, would say I'd gotten completely into my right brain when working on this (she's always telling us to "get out of our left brains"). Anneke Huyser, in Mandala Workbook, suggests that we finish a mandala without thinking about it; only after it is finished, she maintains, should we go back to it and analyze its symbolism and meaning. Well, sometimes there are symbols I actively choose to incorporate - that I set out to use before I even begin the mandala. So I don't always take her advice.

But I call this "letting the mandala create itself." I know that it comes from somewhere inside myself, but . . . well, it's rather akin to the Taoist concept of wu-wei: non-interference. I just step back and let it happen, instead of trying to force it. And sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.

In preparation for my first painting project, I've been doing sketching studies of my bobbling buddha, so for yesterday's mandala I did a buddha mandala. Here's a good counter-example to the previous mandala: one full of conscious choices. I left the inner circles open to each other on purpose. I just had fun with this, making my little friend into a mandala.
~Namaste

Dutch Mandala Association

2007-07-18T21:58:00.000-05:00

Do by all means be sure to click on the title link, select "foto galerie" and scroll down to see the marvelous mandalas created by the members of the Nederlandse Mandala Vereniging, or Dutch Mandala Association, even if you can't read the text. Notice the counted cross stitch pieces, which were created "free-hand" - that is, without patterns.

I learned of this organization, and the practice of free-hand counted cross stitch mandalas, from Anneke Huyser's Mandala Workbook For Inner Self-Discovery. It's an absolute gem, the best book I have yet read on mandalas. In just 112 pages, Huyser presents a brief cross-cultural history of mandalas, a beginner's guide to their creation (in the widest variety of media I have ever seen anywhere), and a selective but thorough annotated resource list (including inspirational music).

Because it is translated from Dutch and a foreign import, Huyser's book is rather pricey for such a slim volume, but every page is packed with information and inspiration. Where larger, flashier books offer many big color plates that may only serve to intimidate, Mandala Workbook gives comfortable, informative text and plenty of b&w illustrations (as well as a few color plates). Huyser's instructions for beginners are particularly clear and appealing.

In short, if you're only going to buy one mandala book, this is the one to invest in. It's a great introductory text, and it will continue to serve you well as a reference text when you become more proficient in your mandala endeavors.

It's been a few days since I last updated my mandala work. I am plugging away on my painting homework, and feeling somewhat intimidated by the assignments - every piece I work on seems to scream "RANK AMATEUR!" But I am having fun with it, and I keep reminding myself that it is the act that counts, not the product.

In addition to painting (and to the pre-painting sketching), however, I have continued to create mandalas. I am one day behind, but here are the mandalas I have done so far. I made this one on some scrapbooking paper I bought at Michael's because I wanted to see what the swirls would look like when incorporated into the design. It did not turn out at all the way I wanted it to, and I had to white-out some mistakes. Ah, well, here it is, anyway:
This one began as a stylized Star of David but very quickly turned into a simple yantra pattern. So it's both - Stars of yantras. I enjoyed making it very much.
This third one I made today. It is actually blue and purple (and a bit of silver & red) on black, but I could not get the colors right with the camera.
I am in the middle of yet another one, but too tired to finish it tonight. I painted and sketched a great deal during today's D&D game, run by nephew C.

Here are two pieces that Z did in her Drawing I class, one last Thurs.:
and one last night:
Incredible, eh? I bow to her superior ability to reproduce reality. She and C are amazing in that regard. I stumble along wretchedly, doing my own funky thang. ;-)

~Namaste

The Little Book of Letting Go

2007-07-11T20:40:00.000-05:00

I want to talk to you this evening about Hugh Prather's Little Book of Letting Go - but first I have to explain why. Every time we come around to Jainism, Buddhism and Taoism in my religion class, we discuss the ideal of non-attachment, and I have my students do a little exercise in "letting go." What would be the most difficult material, non-essential item for you to give up forever? Why would it be so difficult to give up? What does that tell you about yourself - about your needs and desires? Having pondered this question for a bit, do you feel it would be good for you to let go of it, or to keep it?

There are always a couple of students who don't read the directions carefully (or don't understand them) and say that the most difficult thing for them to give up would be their families. But of those who do the exercise properly, I get a wide range of answers, from cell phone and iPod (very popular answers) to music, clothing (other than basic) and even housing. Many students take this exercise very seriously, particularly in my online classes where we have lots of discussion.

This spring I determined that in order to bring more tranquility to our home (a major goal of mine this summer), I needed to let go of a great many of our material possessions. All of us except Z are packrats, and the clutter has gotten so bad that I just can't stand it any longer. Fortunately, I have Goodwill, Re-cycle, and Freecycle to donate to, and they have already taken many things off my hands.

But you know, it's not just a house that can become cluttered. And that's where Hugh Prather comes in. (You can click on the title of the post to learn a bit more about him - I'd never heard of him till I picked up the book, but apparently he's quite well known.) I picked up the book for $4 on remainder at Barnes & Noble, after looking through it a bit, and it was money well spent.

Prather may be a Methodist minister, but he's obviously studied Buddhist psychology. This wise little book (whose misleading tagline, A Revolutionary 30-Day Program Blah Blah Blah, was most likely added by an editor, since it doesn't really fit the book) offers a kind of mental dejunking that I found both helpful and comfortable. It's written in a chatty, conversational style, too - easy to read when one is up worrying in the middle of the night.

And worry, not incidentally, is one of the topics the book covers extremely well. I've struggled with worry for decades, probably as a result of taking everything on my own shoulders. I've known at an intellectual level just how pointless it is to worry, just how much energy it drains, and how much happier I would be if I spent less time doing it - but none of that has helped me let it go.

Prather breaks worrying down into bite-sized pieces so that one can examine them easily, comfortably and rationally (imagine looking at your fears rationally!). After each bite, he gives an exercise, which he calls a "release" (because it enables you to let something go). Some of these are more helpful than others. Most of the releases he suggests should take 1-2 days; I found that spending a day pondering the discussion itself as I went about my daily business was usually more fruitful than doing the actual releases, but to each her own.

I learned several things from this book, but the absolute most valuable thing I took from it was the understanding that most of my worrying came from my attempts to control people or situations. Letting go of that control-impulse makes the worry just melt away. You're probably nodding and thinking, "FINALLY she's figured that out!" So I'm a slow learner. Here's my favorite sentence in the book:

"The next time you think there is some situation you can control, try doing it when you have diarrhea."

Come to think of it, that applies pretty well to dealing with small children, too.

I'll leave you with one last quotation, rather long, in which he discusses his relationship with his wife. I think I would like these people:

"Thirty-five years later we have three wonderful sons. We have five wonderful pets. This is our fifteenth book. We serve a church that did not ordain us. We live in a city that can get above 115 degrees in the summer. And in the last four nights, we have killed ninety-three adult scorpions in a tight circle around our house. (We don't talk about what happened to their babies.)"

In other news this evening, here is a mandala I colored after supper, from Julie Keefe's Mandala Mondays:
And here is Z's homework assignment for her drawing class. The perspective looks a little odd because she was looking down into a mirror, but if you think of her from that angle, it's a good likeness. I was amazed at how fast she dashed it off, too!
~Namaste

Painting Class!

2007-07-11T14:58:00.000-05:00

I am very psyched! I had my first painting class last night (6 to 10 pm, though the time flew), and boy was it ever fun! We learned how to mix all kinds of cool colors, and of course color mixing is one of the best ways to play that I can think of.

I'm a bit intimidated by the notion of painting a landscape, a portrait and a still life - all in class - as well as doing three paintings at home on my own, all in 6 weeks, but I look forward to the challenge. After discussing it with Ro Geseck, the teacher, I plan to do all the assignments but to modify the final project to make it into a mandala. More on that, anon.

I discovered that there's a student in the class who will be going to Drexel in the fall to work on her PhD in art therapy, and she says she'll be delighted to talk to Z about that. That was exciting, too!

Yesterday, I completed the 8th chakra assignment for my Goodwin lesson, incorporating all the colors and symbols of the seven chakras in my own way. I mounted it on what I'm increasingly thinking of as my current color, orange. Here it is:
And then, because N had asked me to make a mandala for her while she was at camp, and wanted me to use sparkles, I cut some slivers and circles from paper, added some more swirls and the words "Niko's mandala" in lots of places with gel pen, and made the following:
It's light & airy & kind of frou-frou, just a silly little thing, but it was fun to make. It was glad to have found some small, very slender scissors - they made the cutting of those tiny swirls of paper much easier. So those were my two mandalas for yesterday.

Today I did a painting exercise in mandala-form; at first I wasn't going to call it a mandala, but it was restful, right-brained and when I was done I felt as relaxed and at peace as I do when I do other mandalas, so I think that counts. Last night in class we'd done shadow color mixing - taking two complementary colors and mixing them in stages to move from one to the other in seven steps. I hadn't felt I'd mastered this, so I did it again.
After looking at it, I felt it needed something still, so when it's dry I think I may go back & add something. Not sure yet - I'll wait & see what my mood indicates. I'll let you know tomorrow!

~Namaste

The Seventh Chakra

2007-07-09T20:50:00.000-05:00

Today was pretty exciting! Z & I visited Arcadia Univ., a small liberal arts school in a northern suburb of Phila.. I think Z is ready to enroll right now: they've got majors in both art therapy and scientific illustration (two hard-to-find majors), a fabulous study abroad program, and the freshman dorm is an honest-to-gods CASTLE! In fact, it's modeled after the castle where the Harry Potter movies are shot, which is why everyone who sees it for the first time exclaims "Hogwarts!"

What more could anyone want?

N, meantime, had her first day of Jewish day camp, and loved it. She did mention that they had to read something in Hebrew, which I seriously doubt since she doesn't read a lick of it, but other than that, she says, there were no prayers & nothing Jewish about it - which I also doubt. Most doubtful of all, she insists that they served meatballs as big as her head. Anyway, it was a success, which is a good thing since it lasts two weeks.

I have one mandala to offer this evening. I did not work on any mandalas yesterday, as I was in the throes of the eighth day of a migraine (let me tell you, this makes me feel very grey and bleak when it carries on so long), and was attempting to avoid focusing my eyes much.

Today I completed the seventh (last) chakra mandala and began the eighth of Goodwin's chakra assignments, a combination mandala, but it's not done yet so I will have to wait till tomorrow to see how it will turn out. I rarely plan my mandalas ahead of time, and these chakra mandalas are no exception. I have begun each of them with a general idea of what I will do: I look at the symbol for the chakra and pull out my colored pencils and gel pens of the appropriate color (and maybe a contrast or blending color), get one or two ideas, and then begin from the bindu, the center. As the mandala develops, the rest of the design just appears naturally.

On the rare occasions when it just doesn't work - when it looks wrong, or when I get "artist's block," it means I'm not in the proper frame of mind. Which I think means that I'm in my left brain rather than my right, because this is very much a right-brain, meditative activity.

At any rate, here is my Crown Chakra Mandala.
~Namaste

Chakras Again!

2007-07-07T21:55:00.000-05:00

I moved into the greens and blues today with my chakra mini-mandalas. Amidst driving of daughters to visit their friends, I managed to complete three more of these, beginning with the Heart Chakra. For some reason, my pictures didn't come out too well this evening, but I am too tired to reshoot, so here they are anyway. In the center of this one is the Chinese character for "heart," though I think next time through the chakras I will have to write the Sanskrit for aum, since this chakra is also called the anahata, which means "unstruck" - in other words (little pun there, heh heh), the unstruck sound. Remember that koan about "what is the sound of one hand clapping"? Well, it refers to aum, which is the only sound that does not require two things striking each other to be produced.

Anyway, here is my Heart Chakra Mandala, associated with the color green. It has no pink in it, but for some reason it came out looking as if it's tinted pink, darn it; it's actually green and gold (my old high school and college colors - why can't I remember my students' names, but I'll never forget such a stupid thing as team colors?!):
The second one is associated with light blue (in case you can't make out the colors from the photo). It is the Throat Chakra, and it took me forever to complete, but I loved every second of it. I finished it at precisely 7:07 pm, which was pretty cool since today is 07/07/07! I think that's darned auspicious.

And then I mounted it upside-down on the card, dagnabbit! So much for my hard-earned meditative tranquility, once I discovered what I'd done. This shows the proper orientation.
The last one I did is the Third Eye Chakra. It didn't take me nearly as much time to complete. R, Z & I spent a couple of hours together after N fell asleep, all working on art together while listening to a Vangelis cd. Very calming.
And now it's time for bed. My count now stands at 9 mandalas, at the end of Day 7. I plan to make at least one tomorrow, but I don't know if I will be able to do any on Monday, so it's good that I'm a bit ahead for now.

~Namaste

A Mandala a Day for 49 Days

2007-07-05T20:36:00.000-05:00

In honor of my being 7 squared, I have decided to color or create an average of one mandala a day for 49 days, beginning with July 1. Some days I may do more and some days I may not do any, but at the end of the 49 days (which will be August 18, I think - correct me if I am wrong!) I will have completed 49 mandalas of one sort or another. I think I can do it.

I began by coloring in some mandalas from Julie Keefe's Mandala Mondays contest website. N did one with me the first day, and when we uploaded them, she wrote back to say we were the first ones ever to participate, so I'm trying to spread the word about her mission. Visit her site and try out one of her lovely designs. It's a very relaxing activity. Here are the ones I've colored so far, beginning with "Luminosity":

This one is N's:
Here are two more I did yesterday. I call the first one "Golden Atom" and the second "Desert Yantra." It's the first yantra I have attempted in any form.

My sister-in-law C did this one and titled it "Chocolate Truffle." I love it!
And this one's by my niece S. "Starry Flight." We enjoyed coloring together!
Z and I went to Dick Blick this afternoon and bought the materials for our summer courses. She's taking Drawing I and I am taking Painting I. We had a whole lot of fun - it's not often we spend that kind of money on art supplies, but we had to this time, right? ;-) Good thing my class was free, since I spent over $100 in supplies, geez!

I've skipped two of the lessons in Clare Goodwin's course, and gone on to her lesson on chakras. I know very little about chakra theory, and after coloring these three today I have determined that I need to find a book on chakra theory. I'll finish this series of mini-chakra mandalas, most of which will become cards to send to people, and then I will do a more elaborate, creative, expressive series. I find that I really like doing the small, close work of these miniature pieces; I think doing more elaborate ones this small would be a challenge I could really get into. Here are the first three, starting from the base and working upward:

The root chakra, which is traditionally associated with red:
The sacral chakra, associated with orange (I plan to keep this one, as orange is my color right now - the color of movement, change and experimentation):
The solar plexus chakra, associated with yellow:
I did these on vellum with colored pencil and gel pen (mostly gold and silver), then mounted the vellum on colored paper. The rubber cement shows, and you can't see the vibrancy of the yellow, but you get the general drift. I'm having a good time with it.

So it's the end of Day 5 and I've done 6 (yes, I know I started early - I'm letting myself cheat; it's all part of the "be kind to myself" plan, thanks to my cousin K). I plan to go out tomorrow to buy a book on chakras, and then to do at least a couple more in the series. And yes, I've fixed the date on the camera - it reads day/month/year. Very European. So it's correct - it just doesn't look it to folks in this country!

Graphic Novels? Or Comics?

2007-06-26T15:21:00.000-05:00

Whatever you call them, "graphic novels" or "comics," they all originated in what our friend Jeff of Beachead Comics - the guy who supplies us with our fixes - calls "the funny pages." Today's post is dedicated to him, despite the odd color. Hiya, Jeff! May the gods & goddesses of commerce smile upon you! Those of you in the Lehigh Valley, be sure to stop by Beachead Comics on Chew St. and check out Jeff's wonderful store and classic decor. It's a fun place.

Before I get started, do click on the above title. Very cool website. So okay, I may sound a little punchy today. We had a great weekend in Wilkinsburg with J&P and the canine cousins (as well as the feline spawns of Satan), and I'm feeling very relaxed.
I'll start with the meta stuff -Robert Rodi's What They Did to Princess Paragon. It's a weird one, and funny, a comedy of errors. Our hero is Jerome, a stereotypical overweight man still living with his mother, the real world traded for a world in which superheroes (and more importantly, superheroines) always manage to save the day. Our villain, Brian, is a hugely successful comic book author/artist who has decided to increase his prestige by turning a declining WWII character, Princess Paragon, into a lesbian in order to increase sales through shock value. Jerome is appalled and disgusted, and will stop at nothing to save his true love, particularly when he finds out that Brian himself is gay.

By far the funniest and, ultimately, most lovable character in the book is Jerome's malapropist mother, Peachy Kornacker. With my own son about to head off to NYC in a few days, it's hard for me not to identify with Peachy when she makes the following emotion-laden speech:

"Well, fine then," she said at last, her voice small and gravelly.
"I guess I have to submit defeat. You go on off to Chicago
and enjoy yourself. But do me a favor and be careful.
You just cross your p's and q's, do you hear me? Lock
your door at night. Don't get smart with any strangers
who might have guns on them. And phone your mother
so she doesn't develop the problem of not knowing my
son isn't bleeding to death in a gutter somewhere."

And later, when Jerome has returned after doing terrible things his mother doesn't even know about, she berates him,

"I only wish your father was alive to see this! It would KILL him!"

Okay, so maybe it's not the most original humor, but the really good stuff is too context-specific to quote here and still make sense. You should just read the book. It's fluff, but it's funny fluff. And it does raise the issue of how the creators of particular comic book characters must feel when their creations are taken over and changed by other writers.
Which brings me to the book I happened to read next, entirely unwittingly. A very fun book by Dave Gibbons and John Higgins called Thunderbolt Jaxon. This was yet another book I'd gotten on a whim from PBS (all four of today's books were from PBS, requested knowing very little about them). It turns out that the character was an old British hero with an origin shrouded in vagueness (i.e. never explained), so Gibbons and Higgins made one up. After reading it, I have to say that it's still rather shrouded. Sure, they explain how Jack gets the magic belt - but the rest of the connections don't make a whole lot of sense. Still, I enjoyed the book, especially because there aren't many out there with Norse gods (aside from Thor). I hope they continue the series, as I'd like to see what happens with Loki!

Anyway, it was interesting to go from a novel dealing with the issue of recreating an old character, to a graphic novel that was an actual recreation of a 1949 character.

Adam Sacks wrote and drew a lovely, amusing and spot-on book (I can't even really call it a graphic novel, exactly) called Salmon Doubts which really spoke to me. You can click here to see a few pages from it - it's quite different. My favorite pages are the sperm-and-egg pages. Just go buy a copy and support him, okay? He only graduated in 2003 and he probably needs the money. ;-)

I've saved the best for last. For stunning art and a remarkable, riveting story, read Pete Stathis' Evenfall. So far I've only read Vol. I, and I'm not sure the second volume is even available yet. But I need to find it, as I am hooked. Ordinarily, I post my graphic novels at PBS when everyone in the family is done with them, but this series I will keep. Stathis' stories remind me of Neil Gaiman's (highest praise I can give them!). I believe he publishes these himself; more power to him, as that's a hard row to hoe. I can't praise this enough. If you like Gaiman, you will like this. And an added bonus for my family: a book in which for once the main character isn't lily-white.

~Namaste

More student mandalas

2007-06-21T13:01:00.000-05:00

This is the first semester that I've tried the mandala project online, and in my 6-week shortcourse it has worked beautifully! Students uploaded in a variety of ways, and this caused a few problems; lucky for me, my brother J came to my rescue and converted a few troublesome files (.bmp, photoshop & autocad) to .jpg, but in future I know to require .jpg only.

Take a look at some of the submissions!
This was done in autocad, and is a nice example of the art of geometry.
One by a Hindu student that I think is very pretty.
This can be viewed from either direction, and it's my favorite from this class. It is meant to be a star from one view and an eye from the other orientation, and I just love it.
These two were made with photoshop, using four flower images each. Aren't they lovely?
The interesting texture in the center of this, according to the creator, is photoshopped "fungus" colored in psychedelic colors!
This one's very nice.
If you see Mickey Mouse in the center - that is intentional!
It's not really made of wood, but doesn't it look like it?
Live flowers made this mandala the most ephemeral of all.

~Namaste

Two of C's Projects

2007-06-18T16:51:00.000-05:00

The date on this should be February 2007, because that is when C made it for his 3-Dimensional Design class. The assignment was to make a facsimile of a shoe of his choice (he recreated one of his dress shoes) and then put it in an appropriate setting. He chose an awards ceremony (he couldn't find a tiny Oscar statuette, but I think that was what was in his mind). N loaned him some goblets and a trophy from her doll house for the podium.

This was his favorite of the 7 or so projects for the class. I think he did it some time in March. Not easy to photograph, since it was all in black, but it's lovely, and it reminds me of him not only because he made it, of course, but because the wolf has been his special animal ever since he was tiny.

~Namaste

Mandala Update

2007-06-18T16:21:00.000-05:00

A while back, I purchased Judith Cornell's Mandala Healing Kit. I had gotten stuck on lesson three of Clare Goodwin's "Making Meaning with the Mandala," as it had devolved into "facing my critic" and other exercises I had found cumbersome and annoying, and looking through a couple of Cornell's books made me decide to splurge during Borders Books' teacher discount days and get the kit.

The first lessons involved general explorations and the rudiments of shading with colored pencils (something I need to continue to practice), and I'm not going to bother posting any of those here, but I will say that they were useful as far as gaining familiarity with the medium. Cornell describes the process of creating a mandala as "painting with light" (she emphasizes this so much that I feel I should put "TM" after the words, as if she invented them), so all the paper in the kit is black, and we are encouraged to envision the pencils as light-pens that are extensions of our own sources of light-energy. If you can get past the '90s touchy-feeliness of that, though, the exercises are quite good.

I tried listening to the accompanying cd and it gave me a bad headache. If there were a way to get rid of the ENGLISH chanting and just keep the music, it would be great. But the relentless repetition of one phrase in English for 15 minutes without let-up, overpowering the lovely music, went from annoying to painful. Even the guinea pigs hated it! So I have set it aside.

This first mandala I called "healing heart." The assignment was to draw a mandala with colored pencils (the first few were just with white), starting from a strong, bright center, to heal myself of something. This mandala actually began upside-down from the way it ended up, with the white dot as the white-hot center of a fire, and a red dot sort of appeared, making a stylized yin-yang symbol. After a while, I noticed that an upside-down half of a heart was forming, so I flipped the picture and made the heart whole, thus completing the healing process as part of the mandala's creation. It gave me a good feeling to finish it. I like the way the first dot that I'd made and then erased looks rather like a reflection of the moon-dot at what is now the top - reminding me of my favorite Chinese poem, "Drinking with the Moon."

The other mandala I am posting here is called "Thank You For This Moment." (Once again, ignore the stupid dates, which I still haven't been able to fix or turn off.) The assignment was to create a mandala while being entirely mindful - that is, thinking of nothing but the mandala the entire time. It was quite a challenge, and precisely because I was trying to keep my mind tightly focused on the mandala, I found it slipping away to look at other things and had to keep pulling it back to the mandala. Great exercise! Writing the words as part of the design (if you click on it, you can see what an integral part of every section of the design they became!) helped a great deal.

The other thing I will say about The Mandala Healing Kit is that the materials she includes are of pretty high quality. The stencils are on good, heavy stock; the black paper is great; and the pencils (while TINY - the kit is expensive enough that the publisher didn't have to be so minchy with the size of the pencils!!!) are wonderful. The white pencil, in particular, is amazing. I need to write to Cornell & find out where I can get another one: it is the brightest white I've ever seen in a pencil! I went to Dick Blick to try to find one like it, as I've almost used it up (mine arrived broken, alas), and the closest I could come was a pastel stick, which I can't sharpen, of course.

~Namaste