My boy is coming home today! Peenoomonia and all. I hope he's not too miserable, but if he still is, best to be miserable at home where I can make him chicken soup and feed him his favorite types of ice cream.
[insert funny N story here]
So R took N to the grocery over the weekend, and one of the items on the list was ice cream, in anticipation of C's return. R asked N what flavor of ice cream C likes best, and N's reply was "ranch."
R, somewhat taken aback, described the basic ingredients of ranch to N, who recanted and described to R the basic ingredients she had had in mind. Which turned out to be rocky road.
Good thing we got that straightened out in time.
[back to original topic now]
C is due in at 4:40. So I am cleaning as best I can, seeing as the house is a total wreck and the vacuum cleaner begins to smell awful after five minutes' of sucking. I'm still working on the upper floor, but hope to get something done downstairs before N comes home (early dismissal today). Then N & I have some erranding to do on the way to the airport.
In amongst the cleaning, I am checking email fairly frequently, as a schism has developed in one of the ten project groups in my learning community, and I am trying to be available to monitor it in case it becomes really dire. The projects are due in by midnight tonight (on the internet). Most of the groups have worked out very well, so I suppose 10% failure rate for the first time we've tried this project isn't too bad.
I am finding that I really miss NaNo - I need to get started on another writing project soon. The updates from NaNo.org keep coming to my email box and I feel really left out and sad that I finished so soon, even though I really needed to. :-(
Then again, there are always the day to day challenges, such as this morning's when I had to figure out what that horrible, disgusting smell was that seemed to emanate from somewhere about N's person. She insisted it wasn't her, it was her backpack, and when I opened it and took a whiff - sure enough, it was! I went rooting around inside and came up with a baggie with part of an egg yolk, from Monday's snack. BLECH.
~Cheers
11/21/08
11/18/08
NaNoWriMo Day 18: 50,292
OMG. It's done. And I feel like I cheated, because I just left Jimmy as a two year old. But I didn't know what else to do, when I discovered that there were three Jimmies (Jimmys? Jimmae?), not one, and I'd had them all mixed up all this time! And The Jimmy, the one I was writing about, was the only one I didn't know anything concrete about! So it ended up really being about Selah, George and Marshall, and family, and all sentimental mush that sounded ghastly.
And then I was still about a hundred words short, so I typed THE END and added a little postscript about how I came by the letters and journals, and what I did with them, and then thanked all the little people who got me to where I am now etc. etc. ad nauseum, as Bloody E had suggested yesterday. But that tipped me over the top and got it done.
When I tried to follow the directions for scrambling it to upload it to the NaNoWriMo verifier, it just turned everything into "aa aaaaaa a'aa" and so on, and that didn't look right. So I uploaded it normally, figuring nobody would want to steal such a piece of junky writing - same principle as not bothering to lock a rusty old jeep when you park it on the street, I guess. And I assume it verified my word count, but it doesn't say anywhere on the site that I am done, a winner, or anything like that. So I don't know if there is something more I need to do by the 30th of November or not. I've written to Aldy to ask her, and I'm sure she will know.
I have been extremely, deeply unhappy ever since my 50th birthday last April. Being in my 40s was fine, but turning 50 was just not okay. I knew before it happened that it wouldn't be okay, but I tried to prepare myself for it. Didn't help. I didn't want, and I don't want, to be that old. I didn't know why, though till last night: I had promised myself when I was in my 30s that by the time I was 40 I would 1) publish a book and 2) buy myself a banjo and learn to play it.
I didn't do either one. Of course, I did a lot of other things, and I don't regret them. But almost all of them were for other people, and I feel like a failure for not doing either of the two things I wanted to do for myself. I missed the boat and there is no way to go back and do them by that self-imposed deadline.
Don't get me wrong: I am depressed about being 50 and not having learned to play the banjo. But I WAS depressed about being 50 and having wasted a lot of time that I couldn't get back. And when Sept. came and my two big kids both left for college, and suddenly our family of five turned into a family of three, I was very, very depressed. I spent a lot of time sleeping, and just sitting quietly being sad.
So when NaNo came along, and I got really excited, it pulled me out of my depression. Instead of having three-day migraines every one or two weeks, I've had ONE one-day migraine in the past month. I've been wide awake and even had insomnia because I couldn't turn my brain off. I needed a challenge - not a frustration, but a challenge.
And now I've written a novel. And I plan to edit it. And then write another one (I already know what it will be about).
I still hate that I'm 50, and I still am sorry I haven't published anything. And I expect I'll still have days when I battle depression about that, or about my big kids being gone. But this is why NaNo was so important to me and why I felt driven to finish that damn book. And to do at least a halfway decent job on it.
Thanks for being along on the ride.
~Cheers
And then I was still about a hundred words short, so I typed THE END and added a little postscript about how I came by the letters and journals, and what I did with them, and then thanked all the little people who got me to where I am now etc. etc. ad nauseum, as Bloody E had suggested yesterday. But that tipped me over the top and got it done.
When I tried to follow the directions for scrambling it to upload it to the NaNoWriMo verifier, it just turned everything into "aa aaaaaa a'aa" and so on, and that didn't look right. So I uploaded it normally, figuring nobody would want to steal such a piece of junky writing - same principle as not bothering to lock a rusty old jeep when you park it on the street, I guess. And I assume it verified my word count, but it doesn't say anywhere on the site that I am done, a winner, or anything like that. So I don't know if there is something more I need to do by the 30th of November or not. I've written to Aldy to ask her, and I'm sure she will know.
I have been extremely, deeply unhappy ever since my 50th birthday last April. Being in my 40s was fine, but turning 50 was just not okay. I knew before it happened that it wouldn't be okay, but I tried to prepare myself for it. Didn't help. I didn't want, and I don't want, to be that old. I didn't know why, though till last night: I had promised myself when I was in my 30s that by the time I was 40 I would 1) publish a book and 2) buy myself a banjo and learn to play it.
I didn't do either one. Of course, I did a lot of other things, and I don't regret them. But almost all of them were for other people, and I feel like a failure for not doing either of the two things I wanted to do for myself. I missed the boat and there is no way to go back and do them by that self-imposed deadline.
Don't get me wrong: I am depressed about being 50 and not having learned to play the banjo. But I WAS depressed about being 50 and having wasted a lot of time that I couldn't get back. And when Sept. came and my two big kids both left for college, and suddenly our family of five turned into a family of three, I was very, very depressed. I spent a lot of time sleeping, and just sitting quietly being sad.
So when NaNo came along, and I got really excited, it pulled me out of my depression. Instead of having three-day migraines every one or two weeks, I've had ONE one-day migraine in the past month. I've been wide awake and even had insomnia because I couldn't turn my brain off. I needed a challenge - not a frustration, but a challenge.
And now I've written a novel. And I plan to edit it. And then write another one (I already know what it will be about).
I still hate that I'm 50, and I still am sorry I haven't published anything. And I expect I'll still have days when I battle depression about that, or about my big kids being gone. But this is why NaNo was so important to me and why I felt driven to finish that damn book. And to do at least a halfway decent job on it.
Thanks for being along on the ride.
~Cheers
11/17/08
NaNoWriMo Day 17: 47,007
I need about another thousand or so on Marshall and then I will start on Jimmie. I hope to finish by Wednesday - Thursday at the latest. Woot!
I met again today with two of my writing buddies, Bloody E Read and LadySoul, two LCCC students who've done NaNo before. I wish there were a way to get someone to interview them about doing NaNo - I'm so impressed with them for doing this twice in a row (I think maybe LadySoul's done it more than twice), and they are such neat people! The school ought to publicize this, because it's a big achievement and something really to be proud of. LadySoul has already gotten to 53,000+ but has set her goal at 75,000 this year! Bloody E is only at 15,000 but she did the same thing last year and wrote 25,000 in the last week, so she isn't worried about it.
It really is fun writing with other people, and it's amazing how quickly you get to feeling a bond with them for doing something crazy like this. Of course, I feel that way about everyone/anyone who is doing NaNo - there are so many of us around the world, too! - but even more so about my mother and nephew, and about the two Heathers (LadySoul and Bloody E) because of writing with them.
I also have a mentor through NaNo, Aldy, who has been very encouraging. It helps to have someone who really knows NaNo from having done it and finished. She offered to mentor total strangers, and replied when I emailed her asking for mentoring. Which is amazing and wonderful - see what NaNo brings about!
No more time for writing today, as N will be home soon and I have to teach tonight. But tomorrow will be a big day. I have no commitments tomorrow except to write, write, write!
~Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel . . .
I met again today with two of my writing buddies, Bloody E Read and LadySoul, two LCCC students who've done NaNo before. I wish there were a way to get someone to interview them about doing NaNo - I'm so impressed with them for doing this twice in a row (I think maybe LadySoul's done it more than twice), and they are such neat people! The school ought to publicize this, because it's a big achievement and something really to be proud of. LadySoul has already gotten to 53,000+ but has set her goal at 75,000 this year! Bloody E is only at 15,000 but she did the same thing last year and wrote 25,000 in the last week, so she isn't worried about it.
It really is fun writing with other people, and it's amazing how quickly you get to feeling a bond with them for doing something crazy like this. Of course, I feel that way about everyone/anyone who is doing NaNo - there are so many of us around the world, too! - but even more so about my mother and nephew, and about the two Heathers (LadySoul and Bloody E) because of writing with them.
I also have a mentor through NaNo, Aldy, who has been very encouraging. It helps to have someone who really knows NaNo from having done it and finished. She offered to mentor total strangers, and replied when I emailed her asking for mentoring. Which is amazing and wonderful - see what NaNo brings about!
No more time for writing today, as N will be home soon and I have to teach tonight. But tomorrow will be a big day. I have no commitments tomorrow except to write, write, write!
~Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel . . .
11/16/08
NaNoWriMo Day 16: 44,512
Marshall is on Corregidor, and he ain't happy about it. He wanted to go to the Front, but George (at Lavilla's begging) asked Wm. Jennings Bryan to pull some strings and have him sent somewhere where he would not see any action - and boy oh boy, there was NO action on Corregidor in WWI! Hardly any soldiers, either.
Now I have to get him addicted again; meanwhile I need to get George elected to the state house of representatives. Then get the war ended, Marshall home (an addict) and send the three Waites (with an "e") off to California. I think I will end that chapter there, but I'm not sure - I need to get up to at least 48K with Marshall, as I don't think I have more than a couple of K worth for Jimmie.
So, I'm seeing the end in sight, and this makes me want to just write, write, write. Which is annoying the living daylights out of the other members of the household. They are grumpy with me today OH YES on account of NaNoWriMo. I think they feel I should just do my 2.5 K per day and leave it at that.
And the grumpier they get, the more pressure I feel to finish it in fewer days and be done, rather than to do just a couple K of words a day and take longer.
Doesn't make sense, does it. Psi. I foresee a long night tonight as I expect more insomnia. But then I will get more writing done, and that would be a good thing.
~Not the end . . . .
Now I have to get him addicted again; meanwhile I need to get George elected to the state house of representatives. Then get the war ended, Marshall home (an addict) and send the three Waites (with an "e") off to California. I think I will end that chapter there, but I'm not sure - I need to get up to at least 48K with Marshall, as I don't think I have more than a couple of K worth for Jimmie.
So, I'm seeing the end in sight, and this makes me want to just write, write, write. Which is annoying the living daylights out of the other members of the household. They are grumpy with me today OH YES on account of NaNoWriMo. I think they feel I should just do my 2.5 K per day and leave it at that.
And the grumpier they get, the more pressure I feel to finish it in fewer days and be done, rather than to do just a couple K of words a day and take longer.
Doesn't make sense, does it. Psi. I foresee a long night tonight as I expect more insomnia. But then I will get more writing done, and that would be a good thing.
~Not the end . . . .
11/15/08
NaNoWriMo Day 15: 37,619
I feel better now that Marshall has 1) graduated from high school with a cocaine habit and 2) gotten his job in Haskell's Barber Shop. He really DID get hooked while still in high school, I found out, and he also had a stint learning to be a barber, so I worked these in.
Today I tried two different things. One, I worked at home while R and N were in the same room with me. I had made them promise that they would not distract me, and they were pretty good about it. I also made them promise to tell me to keep writing, which N delighted in doing. ;-)
Two, I used Write Or Die. I put in "500 words" and "30 minutes" each time, wrote till I had 500 words (took about 15 mins. each time) and then stopped, copied my writing to the main text, and took a break. Did it till I had 2500 words, and then stopped. The great thing about it was I first showed it to R & N, and then when I was interrupted (exactly once each session by one or tother of them, the music went off and reminded them of what they'd done, so then they didn't interrupt again.
And I was even able to continue writing through them talking to me, which amazes me. So I truly have learned to compartmentalize. What I did was plan out each 500-word segment ahead of time - not the exact words, but the topic I was going to address (Marshall's graduating with a drug habit and how that came about, for example). If I didn't finish it, which I often didn't, then I'd continue it on in the next segment. But having the plan in mind meant I could keep working on it and just let the words come out even with someone talking to me, and even follow what was being said to me, which I never realized I was capable of. Split personality, much?
I think I may continue this after a break, since N is sitting here watching Cirque du Soleil DVDs and R is doing origami, both keeping me company. If they're not minding my writing up a storm, and the writing is flowing, then I might as well keep it up. It would be fabulous if I could get done before C got home on the 21st, so I could devote more time to him. (Also, I'm getting a bunch of papers to grade on Monday, which I should get graded by next Monday . . . I swore I would not let this interfere with work.)
Interestingly, No Plot? No Problem is right on target with its (Chris Baty's) advice about weeks. This is the beginning of Week Three, so I read the Week Three advice last night, and one of the things it suggested was to do precisely what I did today: write in 500-word spurts. I hadn't planned to do that until I saw it was raining buckets today and N and R were both feeling kind of down, and I thought gee, I really don't want to go off for two hours and leave them alone here, so maybe this is a way to stay home with them and keep them from feeling so sad. It worked on a number of different levels.
Good book. Good advice. And I am loving NaNo and I plan to do it again next year for sure!
~Cheers
Today I tried two different things. One, I worked at home while R and N were in the same room with me. I had made them promise that they would not distract me, and they were pretty good about it. I also made them promise to tell me to keep writing, which N delighted in doing. ;-)
Two, I used Write Or Die. I put in "500 words" and "30 minutes" each time, wrote till I had 500 words (took about 15 mins. each time) and then stopped, copied my writing to the main text, and took a break. Did it till I had 2500 words, and then stopped. The great thing about it was I first showed it to R & N, and then when I was interrupted (exactly once each session by one or tother of them, the music went off and reminded them of what they'd done, so then they didn't interrupt again.
And I was even able to continue writing through them talking to me, which amazes me. So I truly have learned to compartmentalize. What I did was plan out each 500-word segment ahead of time - not the exact words, but the topic I was going to address (Marshall's graduating with a drug habit and how that came about, for example). If I didn't finish it, which I often didn't, then I'd continue it on in the next segment. But having the plan in mind meant I could keep working on it and just let the words come out even with someone talking to me, and even follow what was being said to me, which I never realized I was capable of. Split personality, much?
I think I may continue this after a break, since N is sitting here watching Cirque du Soleil DVDs and R is doing origami, both keeping me company. If they're not minding my writing up a storm, and the writing is flowing, then I might as well keep it up. It would be fabulous if I could get done before C got home on the 21st, so I could devote more time to him. (Also, I'm getting a bunch of papers to grade on Monday, which I should get graded by next Monday . . . I swore I would not let this interfere with work.)
Interestingly, No Plot? No Problem is right on target with its (Chris Baty's) advice about weeks. This is the beginning of Week Three, so I read the Week Three advice last night, and one of the things it suggested was to do precisely what I did today: write in 500-word spurts. I hadn't planned to do that until I saw it was raining buckets today and N and R were both feeling kind of down, and I thought gee, I really don't want to go off for two hours and leave them alone here, so maybe this is a way to stay home with them and keep them from feeling so sad. It worked on a number of different levels.
Good book. Good advice. And I am loving NaNo and I plan to do it again next year for sure!
~Cheers
11/14/08
NaNoWriMo Day 14
I can't stand it any longer: I am spending today cleaning up and doing household things that have got to be done in order to keep from having total chaos in our lives. I think the mess is starting to adversely affect N too much.
I hope to have a little time left over to do some prep. for Marshall, but if I don't, it's okay. I think I need a day off now and then.
~Cheers
I hope to have a little time left over to do some prep. for Marshall, but if I don't, it's okay. I think I need a day off now and then.
~Cheers
11/13/08
Still Day 13, but now up to 35,066
and I have GOT to quit. I think I am pretty well done with George. The ending is a little rough, but I lost heart when Geo. Milligan and then Emma died.
I'm taking a poll here, folks: Please weigh in on the question, "what do you think Willliam Jennings Bryan's close friends called him?" I have him down as "good ol' Bill" in the novel, but somehow that just doesn't cut it for me. Looking at photos of him when he was younger, including one of him standing in front of the offices of The Commoner (where George worked for four years), he looks as if he had a grand sense of humor, but he just doesn't look like a Bill.
He doesn't look like a Jen, though, either. What do YOU think?
So now it's on to Marshall. Which means another trip down to my filing cabinet o' wonders to look for the few documents I have about Marshall. I'll spend some time tomorrow piecing them together and then it will be time to put myself into the right frame of mind. I may have some trouble making the transition, but I feel ahead enough now that I'm not as worried about getting there eventually.
Thanks for reading. As George would say,
~Saw my leg off
I'm taking a poll here, folks: Please weigh in on the question, "what do you think Willliam Jennings Bryan's close friends called him?" I have him down as "good ol' Bill" in the novel, but somehow that just doesn't cut it for me. Looking at photos of him when he was younger, including one of him standing in front of the offices of The Commoner (where George worked for four years), he looks as if he had a grand sense of humor, but he just doesn't look like a Bill.
He doesn't look like a Jen, though, either. What do YOU think?
So now it's on to Marshall. Which means another trip down to my filing cabinet o' wonders to look for the few documents I have about Marshall. I'll spend some time tomorrow piecing them together and then it will be time to put myself into the right frame of mind. I may have some trouble making the transition, but I feel ahead enough now that I'm not as worried about getting there eventually.
Thanks for reading. As George would say,
~Saw my leg off
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