Jung, as I may have mentioned in an earlier post, believed that our mandalas reveal a great deal about our feelings at the time we draw them. (Click on the title link for more information on Jung and mandalas.)
When I sat down yesterday late afternoon to make a mandala, I was tired and I had no idea where I wanted to go with one. All I knew was that it had been two days since my last mandala & I craved some mandala time. I pulled out the new pencils I'd bought (more on those, below) and shifted quickly and completely into my right brain. No music, no audio books, and no one else around - just the media and my subconscious. Perhaps that sounds a little flaky, but that's what it was, because I wasn't thinking about anything consciously at all.
I immediately went for the red and orange pencils, and after drawing a swirling bindu with a few sparks of yellow, I picked up the black pencil. I found myself pulling out some random swirls around it until I got to the edge of the circle. Then I grabbed the red pencils again and worked my way outward. But - how terribly frustrating! Every time I really got going with the red pencil, I hit one of the black marks, and had to detour around it, or even got stopped completely by one and had to turn around and go back again.
It was like a maze with a lot of obstacles, and it was THE most annoying mandala I have ever drawn. To top it all off, I then had to go back and rework those same passages with the orange and yellow, and I almost didn't make it through.
When I finished, trailing my way out, I was exhausted. The whole thing only took about 15-20 minutes to complete, but it was very draining. I had a long drink of water and sat back to think about it.
That was when I discovered what it was all about. For the past week I've felt frustrated at every turn. I have several projects going, and I haven't had the time to devote to any of them because of all the other daily aggravations that have intruded. Sleep deprivation has exacerbated the situation, and yesterday afternoon it all came to a head. I felt like a volcano about to blow its top.
So I decided to stay home from painting class last night. C&Z promised to help me finish the landscape that we'd be working on in class, and R said he'd take N to the pool and then put her to bed. I fell asleep about 6:30 pm, roused enough at 8:30 to cuddle N a bit, and did not get up till 7 this morning. I feel like a new person.
Let's hear it for the insight of mandalas.
As to the new pencils: they are conte crayon pencils, which I found at Dick Blick the other day. I'd never heard of them & thought I'd get a few to try. Z draws in conte crayon a lot. They are quite soft, and almost like drawing with chalk, producing a lot of dust - well, I suppose they are like conte crayons only with a fine point. Interesting. They'll take a lot of getting used to. I'll have to get Z to teach me to use them, I think.